#Really wanted to dedicate some time to her introduction...

[forgettable-au]

FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 36-39)

* To note. Her hands are scaly. * And...unexpectedly wet?

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[centaurianthropology]

Therapy for Thee but Not for Me: Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms in ‘Murderbot’ (Thoughts on Episodes 1-3)

Having now watched the third episode of ‘Murderbot’, I came away with two impressions: the first is that this is a better show as a binge.  Maybe I’m too used to shows that are an hour long, but I feel like I’ve only just got sunk into an episode when it ends.  But with a binge, I can just move onto the next, and the emotional through-line feels more well-drawn.

Spoilers below the cut.

The second thing is that I think this was really the final wrap episode for the introduction.  We finally get an explanation for why PresAux is not only doing this survey, but aren’t willing to ditch it at the first sign of danger (honestly needed, if we’re going to flesh them and Preservation out further).  And I really like the explanation provided! The notion that there is a bit more dissent in Preservation than we’ve seen in the books is welcome.  Because of course there are some people there who are short-sighted, greedy, or simply ignorant enough to decide that the glamor and faux-prosperity of the Corporation Rim is more attractive than a planetary commune with constant resource struggles. Of course some people buy the propaganda and believe that the Corporation Rim is truly existing in a golden age that Preservation should be lucky to join. That happens in every society, no matter how well it’s doing. It is human nature to want what you don’t have, and to always want more. 

And it’s a great motivation to explain why Mensah and her friends go to this planet, and then stay there even in the face of danger. It both establishes stakes and establishes this group as true believers in Preservation ideals.   They are the most dedicated to the Preservation way of life, whether they were raised in that environment or are a recent convert. 

We also get a little more time with a few underserved characters, particularly Ratthi and Bharadwaj, while elaborating on characters with more onscreen time like Mensah and Gurathin.  I’d still like to spend more time with Pin-Lee and Arada, but I feel like that’s coming soon enough.  I had thought the plot would really kick off in this episode, and in some ways it did (a whole lot of ‘All Systems Red’ was covered in this one episode, plot-wise), but it also felt like the last moment of early-static-state for these characters. 

And a huge part of that early static state is really hammering home how every character does (and doesn’t) deal with mounting stress.  This, like the books, is a show centering emotion.  In the books, it was almost exclusively Murderbot’s emotions, but here we see Murderbot as a part of a tapestry of emotion, one person amongst an ensemble it has not yet accepted that it’s a part of.  And as it has poor coping mechanisms, that just puts it in excellent company with this group of humans with fuck-awful coping mechanisms. 

So before we get into the meat of the action and, I suspect, meet our mystery additional character next episode (who I now suspect might be a ‘Company rep’ or something), I wanted to talk about the coping mechanisms (bad and good) everyone is rocking, and the arcs I suspect they’re setting up.

MURDERBOT: ESCAPISM

Let’s start with everyone’s favorite SecUnit.  Episode 3 really drove home how escapist and purposefully detached Murderbot is at this point in the story.  It is actively resisting caring or connection, wanting to escape every interaction or responsibility to sink into the comfort of its shows. 

Not surprisingly, and paralleling the book, this is setting up the arc of caring.  Next episode will probably feature Mensah saving it from the other SecUnit, and the shocking (for it) realization that she is willing to risk herself to save it.  This is the major turning point in their relationship, and in its understanding of people.  At this moment in episode 3, we are really seeing the last active resistance to this: it doesn’t think of itself as a person.  It doesn’t want to hear what Mensah has to say about her worries or her fears.   I know some people have seen this scene as trauma-dumping, but I didn’t read that at all into that scene.  Rather, I saw Mensah trying to make a connection.  She has decided that Gurathin is wrong: this SecUnit is a person, and it has emotions and thoughts and feelings.  And as she stares down the barrel of a very bad situation, she is trying to make it care.  She is reaching out, explaining her fears because she wants it to see her and her friends as people.  She wants it to understand why they can’t just back out, can’t turn tail at the first sign of danger.  She is trying to forge a connection.

And Murderbot isn’t there yet.  It’s avoidant, angrier in this episode than it was before, it’s on edge after both Ratthi and Gurathin seem convinced that it’s more than just an ordinary SecUnit.  It knows it’s not faking being an ordinary SecUnit well, and it wants out. 

And more than that, it is self-soothing the anger and the resentment and the fear that defines its existence at this point with its shows.  I think it’s interesting that, instead of ‘Sanctuary Moon’, this episode introduces us to a much grimmer show, ‘Strife in the Galaxy’, which explicitly shows constructs like SecUnit being tortured (although it points out that this doesn’t seem particularly realistic) and stressing their own struggles and individuality.  And it considers this an inferior show.  Why?  Because it cannot imagine doing that.  At this point it can’t imagine being as defiant as the (ComfortUnits??) constructs in the show.  It’ll enjoy the unrealistic aspects of ‘Sanctuary Moon’, but I get the feeling that the unrealism of ‘Strife’ strikes a little too close to home to be good quality escape.

But it keeps watching.  Because if it keeps just burying itself in media, it never needs to care.  It never needs to feel deeper, more complicated, more dangerous emotions about real people who could be in real danger.  It can just … exist, comfortably numb, and bide its time.  For what?  Unclear, probably even to Murderbot. Carin will be thie thing that motivates it out of this static state, but that is terrifying, and it is resisting that with every single minute of entertainment it’s downloaded. 

DR. MENSAH and PROF. BHARADWAJ: AVOIDANCE

These two feel like parallel characters right now. They’re both older women, both feel a weight of responsibility, and both feel like they’re doing the same thing: pretend everything is fine, act strong when everyone else can see you (and rely on you), offer help wherever you can, fall apart only when you’re safely alone.

They tackle it differently.  Mensah is, to her team, the consummate professional.  We see her fears and doubts only through SecUnit’s spyware or because she’s chosen to talk to it late at night when everyone else is asleep.  And why did she choose that?

I’ve seen some people, as I mentioned, say that she was trauma dumping.  But I read this as an attempt to reach out to the only other person, in her mind, who was sort of in her same position.  Because they were both being relied on by everyone else.  Because if they faltered, everything could fall apart.  I read her talk with Murderbot as a way of expressing how much this mission actually means to all of them, why it matters, why it might even matter to their SecUnit, and I genuinely think she was hoping for it to share its own fears and struggles in return.  She wasn’t dumping; she was opening up in an incredibly vulnerable way to a person that at least one of her friends thinks is a potential spree killer.  But she looks at this person, and she sees someone in a similar position of responsibility, equally unable to share its frustrations and fears. Reaching out was a risk. She knows it’s spying on them. But she also believes that it is more that was it was built to be, so it was worth the risk to try to connect on a deeper level.

And it still can’t reach back.  She’s left wanting.  Like everyone elose in the episode, she fails at dealing with the stress well. She does the best of all of them, in my estimation, but she still fails, because at this point in the story they all need to fail. They all need a hole they can climb out of.

Bharadwaj certainly isn’t doing any better.  She, like Mensah, is holding it together by her fingernails.  But while Mensah has the leader persona she wraps around herself, Bharadwaj has jokes and energy and exuberance.  She has an indomitable spirit, right up until there’s no one to perform for.

And then she breaks down crying, and who wouldn’t?  She almost died.  She, of everyone, was the closest to just suddenly losing everything, and how do you process that?  How do you deal with the sudden and undeniable reality of your own mortality shoved so brutally in your face?  Of course she’s not dealing well.  And of course she, like Mensah—like everyone else who wants to be there for their friends and never let them know how much they themselves might need help in turn, like everyone else who is used to being the strong, steady, reliable, fun one—ends up hiding it.  And Gurathin stumbles into it, but he can barely process his own trauma, let alone anyone else’s.  He tries to reach out as best he can, and it’s not what she needs, and it fails them both.  There is a surprising level of tragedy underling this episode that creeps out slowly on viewing it again.  I really appreciate that, as on-the-nose as the writing can seem, this show is actually working at several different levels, and Bharadwaj trying and failing to deal with the sudden and immense trauma she’s experienced is one of them.

I think both Mensah and Bharadwaj are being set up for arcs of being able to accept help as well as give it. Mensah’s biggest struggle in the books is even admitting to those she loves that she’s not doing well mentally, and I think we’ll see echoes of that here. Bharadwaj ends up as more or less Murderbot’s therapist (while couching it in ‘making a documentary’), and while I’m not sure it’ll play out precisely in that format, I want to see them all connecting on that level. The human characters act as mirrors for Murderbot, and both Mensah and Bharadwaj are just as avoidant of their trauma as Murderbot is in its way, and just like it, they are going to fail to keep it all together. They are going to have to reach out, but that won’t be weakness. Acknowledging their needs, their fears, their broken parts to those they love will eventually help them mend those broken bits in ways they never could have managed alone.

DR. ARADA, PIN-LEE, AND DR. RATTHI: PHYSICAL COMFORT WHILE IGNORING THE EMOTIONS UNDERLYING EVERYTHING

It doesn’t surprise me that the ill-advised throuple is all about trying for physical comfort while ignoring the fact that this comfort is built on quicksand.  One thing this episode really nails is that this arrangement was built on shaky ground, and they can all feel it but none of them are directly discussing it. I feel like this relationship is serving as a metaphor for all their myriad issues of dependence, distrust, poor communication, and an inability to simply discuss contradictory needs.

Pin-Lee has been hiding innocuous things like their video game habits from their wife (likely because they think Arada wouldn’t approve of them playing violent video games).  Arada is trying to fill relationship troubles with a third person, hoping things work out better than the last time, all while clearly not addressing the root issues she and Pin-Lee are facing.  And Ratthi, forever happy to be here, is ignoring the fact that his presence in this arrangement is both more complicated and less helpful than he might hope. 

I also like that we can contrast this disaster trio with Mensah’s clearly stable, clearly long-term, clearly loving arrangement with her marital partners.  Because they might not have wanted her to go, but they still love and support her.  They still have seven children together, whose picture acts as the centerpiece to her room.  If the show goes on for more seasons, we’ll certainly see more of Mensah’s family, but it’s nice to establish the norm of multiple marriages in Preservation society this early, and how healthy and stable they are, especially in light of the disaster throuple that is Arada, Ratthi, and Pin-Lee.

I love Ratthi’s self-doubts in this episode, because I think it highlights how much he’s trying to use his friendliness, his supportiveness, his Golden-Retriever-of-a-Man-ness to cover his self-doubt and even flavors of self-loathing.  There is clearly a lot about himself he doesn’t quite like, that he struggles with.  He is naturally sociable, naturally flirty.  He loves a good time, loves to trust people, and (if he’s true to his book counterpart), loves to love all different sorts of people.  But he struggles with commitment.  He struggles to live up to the standards he’s setting for himself.  So he’s too hungover to do weapons training.  He’s too eager to get the survey equipment and almost runs into danger.  He so earnestly wants to be there for everyone, so of course having sex with his friends seems like a great idea.  After all, for him, sex and friendship go together great.  I don’t really think he’s yet dug into the fact that Pin-Lee and Arada are sort of using him to paper over the cracks in their own foundation, and I’m interested to see how he reacts to realizing that’s the case.

His arc is a little difficult to see right now, but I imagine it’s going to be someting about finding himself. He’s a great guy; he’s eventually going to be SecUnit’s best friend. But who is he when he’s not being what everyone else needs? Who is Ratthi just on his own? I hope we (and maybe he) get to know that.

Pin-Lee has a little more definition to them after this episode, and I hope we keep getting more.  They’ve been built up quietly in the background, doing a lot of necessary plot work because it fits their personality rather than their job. They’re the one analyzing the satellite data for patterns in the outages, and this tells the audience a lot about their need for everything to make sense and fit neatly. They are a lover of patterns and order.  They are almost certainly the one who pushed for the throuple contract (because of course Pin-Lee needs a contract).  They see offering up another throuple as a means to fix things that frankly need honest discussions, but a contract is easier than a discussion, and one discussion may lead to another.

It’s clear Pin-Lee loves their wife, but seems to fear their wife doesn’t love them nearly as much. So they hide parts of themself they think Arada might find objectionable. They blunt their edges. I think a lot of Pin-Lee’s arc is going to be shifting further into the Pin-Lee from the books as they gain confidence. But that requires them to work through their issues with their wife. It requires trust rather than contract, accepting that they won’t always see the patterns and have control, and being okay with that. I wasn’t sure about combining Pin-Lee and Overse at first, but the more I look at it, the more interesting of an arc has been set up for this character, going from an amalgamation with more Overse into more of a book-true Pin-Lee, specifically by embracing many things Pin-Lee struggles with. 

Arada is the mystery to me right now.  She’s very caring, very focused on being kind and fair.  She’s the one who first has clearly decided that SecUnit is a person.  She’s the one who insists that the worm that tried to eat her was simply an animal doing what animals do.  She’s the one who makes certain people are validated, supported, given gifts of embroidery and windchimes.  She’s the heart of the group in many ways.

But who is she beneath the care?  I feel like we haven’t gotten to know her as well as the others quite yet, and I really want to learn more about her perspective.  She brings a great, solid base of caring to the equation, but she can also clearly blind herself to her own more selfish impulses. There isn’t a deliberately selfish or cruel bone in her body, but there is a part of her that happily believes that if she wants something, her spouse wants it too. If Pin-Lee doesn’t openly object, then Pin-Lee is trilled to be a part of whatever Arada wants. It’s a very ordinary, human flaw, to overlook someone else’s discomfort in your own excitement.

I want to see that dug into, more explored.  I want all the awkward, painful bits of Arada to come out the same as we’re getting for the others.  Of everyone, I feel like her shitty coping mechanisms are perhaps the least defined, and I am eager to see them laid bare. I think her arc has yet to take shape, and I am eager to know where she’s going.

DR. GURATHIN: HYPERVIGILANCE AND HYPERCOMPETENCE

Oh boy, the king of shitty coping mechanisms came into fairly sharp focus in this episode, didn’t he?  He only really got three scenes, being kept on base with Bharadwaj, but each of them hits hard for different reasons.  His argument with Mensah about going to DeltFall drives home his hypervigilance, and how it turns him inward to the point of paranoia and bringing out his own worst impulses. 

He is fiercely protective of this group of friends, these very few people who he cares about, and is willing to do some fairly shitty things to keep them safe. And even so, everything feels like it’s slipping out of his control (and he needs to be useful, and he needs to have control).  His better nature can still be reached, particuarly by Mensah who is still able to talk him down. This episode makes it clear how much he puts Mensah on a pedestal as The Best Person (it’s funnily enough similar to what Murderbot does after ‘All Systems Red’ in the books).  So he caves, and she and the team leave, and he’s left alone with Bharadwaj. Does he think it’s a good idea? No. Does it matter? Not really, but also on a personal level it matters very much, because it leaves him in a position to stew in his own insecurities and fears. And he’s got more than his fair share of both.

In the scene with Bharadwaj we see his second major coping mechanism: the need to be useful.  He can’t talk to her about her experiences.  He doesn’t understand them and is painfully fucking awkward at the best of times, and he knows it.  But he offers up the trauma modules he has that clearly helped him at least a little.  It’s what he’s got, and it’s what he’s comfortable offering a friend in need.

She turns him down.  And this triggers his final scene in the show, and one that plays on multiple layers.  The first layer is SecUnit’s layer, the one we’re presented when we listen to and believe its voiceover, and that is that he’s being creepy.  He’s going into Mensah’s room without her permission; he looks at the photo of her kids and he smells her pillow.  That’s creepy, right?  Right?

But if you watch the scene on mute, without the color commentary, it feels a lot more like a poor attempt at self-soothing in the face of a breakdown.  Gurathin’s backstory is not very clear at this point, but I think it’s safe to assume his relationship with his parents is a far cry from Mensah’s loving family.  So there is comfort in seeing the photo of her children (and if he and Mensah have been friends for six years, he probably knows the kids at least a little).  He’s clinging to this ideal of Mensah as what he wants to be, as much as he has a crush on her: to him she’s competent, caring, effortlessly balancing the needs of everyone.  She’s a good mother, a good friend, a good leader.

And in the face of the fear of losing her, of losing all his friends to unknown and uncontrollable dangers, he falls apart.  In this place where he maybe feels just a little safe, he completely collapses. It’s not pretty and it’s not great and it’s absolutely bordering on inappropriate.  Yes, it sure does look like he smell her pillow (not great, even if she never finds out), but after that he mostly just shatters.  He’s sobbing by the end of the scene, and the narration just doesn’t quite notice it, and because the audience can’t hear it, it’s easy to miss.  There is an enormous disconnect between what SecUnit thinks is happening in that moment (tawdry, one-dimensional creeping) and what is actually happening (understandable, still inappropriate, badly maladaptive, but deeply human breakdown). 

He, like Bharadwaj, is having his coping mechanisms fail him.  He’s not useful.  He’s hypervigilant to the point of paranoia, and it’s NOT HELPING.  It could easily drive a wedge between him and his friends and he can’t help it because it’s what he knows how to do.  He protects what little he cares about.  There is an obvious ruthless, selfish streak to him that remains from the Corporation Rim and whatever was done to him there (and the more hints we get, the more sense we get that it was BAD). 

Interestingly, I’m not sure where Gurathin’s arc is headed. He’s one of the best developed characters at this point, but it’s all not great. He’s got a lot of room to grow, but in what direction? I’m not sure, and I’m honestly excited that I’m not sure. It makes more of a mystery, trying to figure out what the writers are planning on doing with him aside from making him a narrative foil for Muderbot.

CONCLUSIONS

I really like that the show is being bold in its choices to show the uglier, more maladaptive sides of these people. I like that it’s trying, with only about twenty minutes an episode, to actually make them believable people having believable responsives to an incredibly difficult situation.

That’s what I ended up really taking away from this continuation of the series, after watching it back to back to back with the previous two: we now have an idea of most of these characters’ stress responses, how good or often bad they are.  They are all so eager (except SecUnit) to help one another, but they are all trying desperately to hide how much they need help.  They are kind and caring, but still painfully human. 

With Mensah reaching out to SecUnit, with the first tentative attempt to make it care, I think we as the audience have also been positioned to see these people as their own raw selves, and to learn to embrace them, to care, just as much as Murderbot will begin to care about them.

I am still really liking this show.  I still want to see where it’s going.  If anything, I wish that each episode was just a few minutes longer, because a lot of moments are surprisingly subtle, undermining the narration, and acting as contrast to the way SecUnit currently perceives the world.  Would it be better if those moments had a bit longer to breathe, or is their subtelty and the need to watch the show a few times to catch everything part of the charm?

[yrenesbrainrotss]

Thank you for answering my question! 🥰

If it's ok, could I please request headcanons of yandere ENA (Dream BBQ) secretly thwarting female human reader's endeavours at getting back to her own dimension because, as a fellow anomaly, she wants reader to stay with her?

Thanks a lot! Have a happy Easter Sunday. 💚🕊

A/N: Hiii tysm for your request and happy Easter to you too! I tried to make her as accurate as possible. I really hope it came out alright and that you enjoy it!

-not sure abt the word count but it is a bit lengthy.

• summary : after landing in a strange place ENA soon finds you a purpose by her side.

•reader pronouns: not specified but i wrote it with a female reader in mind.

•warnings: obsessive and manipulative behavior.

♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱

~ pending business ~

ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ You don’t even know how you got into this position honestly. Surrounded by weird creatures in a world where everything is upside down and any attempts at a normal day are erased. What you know is that you now have a friend! Kind of… she’s really weird but at least she made adapting to this weird amalgamation of shapes and things more bearable. Dizzy and disoriented you found yourself in a strange place,with strange creatures and with a person who’s name is ENA you suppose, since that’s how everyone calls her.”Hello fellow anomaly! Whatever may have crossed your mind when you chose to enter this strange realm?” she inquired.She was a pretty tall woman,her skin was split in two sides,with different personalities. One colored white, a side which expressed mostly anger and frustration and the other red which reminded you of a sketchy salesperson.Her black short hair framed her face just right and her attire consisted of some knee socks,striped suspenders and a matching green hat.

“You look like you’d make a great business partner! So what do you say… yes or… yes!”

Without even a moment to spare for any kind of introduction she just dragged you aside claiming you’re her new assistant. Without complaints you just kinda went along with it, it might be good to befriend her and find out just how you could escape this strange realm. You don’t know what your job is or what you’re supposed to do with the strange briefcase she gave you, you just know that wherever she goes you follow.

Eventually you assist her on different jobs that consist of running errands for her clients,catching some eyeball-shaped fish for a strange guy that could only speak in loud screams, escaping a shape-shifting maze,following ENA around and watching her try to sell coupons for 30% off of saddnes,attending weird events that were too much for your poor motion sickness to handle and learning how to grow a human board from scratch, the usual stuff,you know?

ENA’s attempt at flirting while on jobs are weird as hell. If what she says could even be considered flirting.Her salesperson side always makes weird remarks out of nowhere such as “could i interest you in a limited time offer on a strategic partnership? Or maybe a coupon for endless ENA dedicated affection?”. Your confusion is visible and sometimes due to her frustration her Meanie side startles you with threats like “IF YOU LOOK AT THIS CLIENT FOR MORE THAN 5 SECOND I WILL THROW YOU IN THAT BOTTOMLESS RIVER.” that she considers are only “declarations of love and sweetness for her favorite asisstant”

You considered all of ENA’s jobs to be really strange but you try to make the best of them. After completing a task you ask for some information about other dimensions and how you could get to your own “organic” one. The odd entities however give you distasteful looks,harsh replies and even say that you are tainting their world. With reluctance,they end up giving you some intel about what they know regarding dimension traveling but refuse to elaborate any further than they think it’s necessary.

Your endeavor at gathering information didn’t go unnoticed by ENA nonetheless. Her watchful eye is always tracking any move you make,any interaction you have with entities that aren’t her. She swears that she’ll get rid of those pesky creatures. You don’t really pay much attention to your past clients that have helped you gain some insight on escaping but you think they are giving you some odd looks.First,they narrow their eyes in your direction and then when ENA practically teleports to your side and grabs you by the waist too tight for your comfort, they avert their gaze and scurry in some other place. You think its a bit strange but ENA thinks that it’s good for them to learn their worth,saying they shouldn’t have been so nosy.

After another successful job you manage to get the coordinates to a….Bathroom? The shadow-like thing said that you might find what you need there and handed you a small piece of paper with directions and passages. ENA asks why would you need directions to the Bathroom when she already knows the way? You insist that its a personal matter and after a few more attempts at her trying to convince you that these entities can’t be trusted she gives up and doesn’t pry anymore.

Later that night you hear shuffling and footsteps clicking across your bedroom floor. They stop at the nightstand where the figure crouches next to you. The cold claws of a carmine hand brush a few strands of hair off of your face, another hand,softer rests atop of your neck as if checking your pulse. You try not to move, then,a familiar voice, her voice,is heard throughout the silent room. “You fool..you really thought this cheap attempt at escaping would work?” “You don’t need to talk to those things anymore,you don’t need to talk to them at all! It would be a poor investment to waste such precious resources on them…”

In the morning,the paper once containing the only thing that might aid to your wish is scribbled over with what you hope is red ink, reading “DON’T WORRY, I’LL TAKE CARE OF IT :))”.

To stop you from snooping around ENA invents new job requests and insists that you help her with her new sales idea.”How about leaving that whole escapism thing aside for now and help me with this new errand i received!” You see what she’s trying to do and you don’t buy anything she says.Her creative mind is trying to come up with as many ideas and job listings as possible to keep you away from the people that regardless of her threats keep on offering intel. Eventually you have enough and confront her about it, she denies everything but her charming salesperson side can’t cover up the glitches in her voice.

Then she cracks. Her face becomes a dark green, broken like a porcelain vase,with odd blue and purple liquid oozing out of her eyes. She grabs your shoulders and pulls you into a hug falling down on her knees and dragging you with her. “Don’t leave..please..” “Without you im just..an overworked machine…a business woth no customers…” she gazes into your eyes,cupping your cheek with her sharp clawed hand “you and I are the same… two anomalies fated in this amalgamation of creatures, feeling and places…rejected by everyone but our own kind…”

You dont know if it is out of fear or pity but you embrace her head in your arms,letting her rest against your chest.She holds onto your shirt with a strong grip, afraid of letting you slip between her fingers.After some time she calms down and her normal cheeky self comes back.

You still want to leave but you refrain from making any attempts at leaving,scared that she will have another break down, which she might not recover from this time..

ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ֶָ֢. ｡𖦹°‧ֶָ֢

[jollyparaphernalia]

Welcome back to the Kingswap AU Yapping. Todays topic is Party Dynamics

(What's this?) Today we focus in on Clovis (Our swapped King now in Siffrins position). As you can see, his first introduction to the party was a bit of a...mixed affair? Guy's got some anxieties (Don't worry, they caught him later) WARNING: This chatter post i'm just gonna blanket as just being spoilers all around for 'In Stars And Time', and any content warnings that apply to the game also apply here.

First things first before getting into it...WOAH THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE RESPONSE! I wasn't expecting people to resonate so much with the idea, I was maybe expecting a small handful of notes, but seeing people interested and keysmashing in the comments/tags and theorizing makes me very happy! I also appreciate all the asks that have been sent in (Don't worry. I've seen you guys who are curious about how much of a freak Isabeau is re: the Stagemaster. I see you. I love you. I will get to those soon.) But the topic today is focused on Clovis.

Hey Jolly, what's the point of focusing on all this background stuff if this AU ends up in the loops anyways?

It's MY BRAINROT, and I SAY that the Orb Quest and background stuff is ESSENTIAL to the LORE A big part hanging over In Stars and Time is the Team. The Friends. The FAMILY. It is a huge crux of the motivations of Siffrin, and for this AU I wanna sell you on the Swapped King having a place in the party, and how the others bounce off of him and interact with him. It's fun translating someone like The King into a form that is a very different role but keeping some of the themes he comes with.

So, what's the Vibe?

Clovis is an awkward wet dog. He fills a similar niche that Siffrin does, being a semi-forgetful islander who is a complete disaster once you peel back the curtains, and is different in how he intersects with the party.

A small example would be puns. He doesn't make puns - but he ends up being funny anyways

"You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?" He forgets words a lot similar to Siffrin, and is mortified every time - but he says things so seriously that everyone has a great time anyways.

One on One, you can rank the differences between character interactions on...Do they Like Dogs or Cats More? Siffrin is Cat, Clovis is Dog.

Lets Look At The Most Different Dynamic Compared to Siffrin: Mirabelle.

Mirabelle prefers dogs. She struggles to understand Siffrin, and Siffrin struggles to understand her, and that is the crux of a lot of problems that happen in ISAT, with Mirabelle not wanting to seem nosey with Siffrins secrets.

So, she thrives alongside Clovis. A sad, wet dog she found behind a dumpster. Who is very, very intense and gives off unnerving energy.

Mirabelle leash your fucking cryptid. He's scaring the neighbours.

Clovis is slightly more open than Siffrin (Can't hide behind a hat, after all) and he willingly searched out the Party to join them on their quest to save Vaugarde (Though he's a bit cagey on answering why outside of thats what a knight would do, but thats okay). He's willingly pledged his service, and Mirabelle appreciates having someone who is unambiguously on her side without having to be asked. It also helps that he also seems a little scared all the time, but thats okay. They can be brave together. (She just wishes that he wouldn't put himself in harms way all the time)

Mira also considers Clovis to be a bit of a good luck charm, in fact - she's learned she can take him out to do errands, and for some strange reason...She doesn't get bothered nearly as much by strangers approaching her to talk with the 'Chosen of the Change God'. Going shopping is almost pleasant when he's with her!

Clovis isn't really sure why it happens either. (It's because you scare the shit out of people with your neutral expression, dude.)

Hey, wouldn't that kinda dedication be a little weird for Mirabelle?

Maybe. I'd like to think they're on a weird similar wavelength, with Clovis being so deep in his knightly sensibilities and being so polite to her. Some....secret third thing (It's friendship. Ace for Ace solidarity). Clovis would probably catch onto the papers well before Dormont, but, well. He'd probably not wanna snoop about it, cause that's rude!

(He's some flavour of Ace? You decide. shipping ain't off the table, but that's not the focus for this AU. The focus is pain and the agonies). Much like how in the artbook insertdisc5 muses that Siffrin would travel with Odile the longest, I think Clovis would join Mirabelle for her pilgrimage.

So, what about someone who is more a Cat person?

Like, say, Odile! Great topic change. Clovis steals Siffrin's spot as 'Odile's chosen for Secret Quests' because he's good at keeping secrets, though...Odile has to pay a bit more attention to Clovis when left in a book store or library on his lonesome. Guy just hones in on Headache books like candy.

As seen above with the first meeting, Clovis also keeps a lot of Siff's Sus energy. But considering how easily Clovis tends to cave under Odile's pressure, the idea that he could be an assassin from the Stagemaster is laughable at best. (And also easily disproved, considering how active The Stagemaster is in Orbquest for this AU)

You know how in ISAT proper, Odile's Susquest is incredibly hard to get naturally, and often needing a guide to achieve for the typical player? Yeah that's reversed. Clovis can't act for SHIT and Odile can read him like a book. Clovis going through the House of Dormont and has one innocent conversation with the team and you just hear*Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping!* Cats can keep secrets, but you KNOW when a dog has done something they shouldn't have. (Odile probably finds that both funny and charming?)

Now, just cause Clovis can't keep a personal secret, and is potentially easy to read...doesn't mean he isn't cunning. After all...The King in ISAT proper is able to deduce that there's something fucky going on with Siffrin, and is perfectly capable of deception.

Clovis voted 'second least likely to beat someone in chess (first being Isabeau on purpose)' but the truth of the matter is he's probably cracked at that. Probably would also love Strategy Games (And is fucking awful at poker).

He'd also prolly join Odile and Isabeau in smoking a bong and going drinking. They're both prolly delighted at this (Out straight edge little knight smoking and drinking? The scandal!)

So...What's Up With Isabeau And Clovis. Is Isabeau...interested in Clovis like he is Siffrin?

WELL. THERE'S CERTAINLY SOMETHING COMPLICATED HERE.

We can't talk about Isabeau and an AU'd KING and not get a LITTLE bit into The Gender. Even in the baseline material, you can probably write essays on the compare/contrast between The King and Isabeau regarding their masculinity and how it manifests (and in fact, i'm almost sure people have!). Seriously, The King literally chose his title. An explicitly masculine title, with him specifically highlighting the ability to make decisions and force his will onto others.

There's shades of it here, but the villainous side of it is understandably no longer present. Clovis...well, Clovis has a complex relationship to his gender? Unlike Siffrin (who is explicitly said to have never done Body Craft) The King is stated to HAVE done Bodycraft at some point (even if it was to BE BIG), so...Clovis maybe has thought about it (maybe even done it?).

I like to say he's explicitly attached to being A Guy. I'm talking full on 'yippee!' if people call him Sir Clovis. Could just be he's happy to be identified As a Knight...could be something more.

I'll leave the interpretation to you.

But wait! You said it was complex, this seems straightforward?

Well. The second half of it is that Clovis...explicitly wants to be seen as a protector. He doesn't WANT to scare people, he doesn't WANT to be seen as intimidating or weird or strange and intense. He doesn't want the Party to see him as dangerous or scary. ('But you're the good kind of scary!' is prolly what Mirabelle would say, the horror loving fanatic she is.)

Not that Clovis would ever -voice- it, but he so very desperately wants what Isabeau has. And vice versa, Isabeau I think would deeply admire Clovis for being practically fearless when it comes to taking on the burdens of the adventure. Clovis takes things in stride (even if in social contexts he's VERY NERVOUS) and yet...Clovis might be anxious...but Clovis isn't a coward. Clovis knows what he wants to be. If shit hits the fan, Clovis is marching forward, focused and unafraid to use what cunning he can muster to get through the obstacle.

So, yeah, Isabeau and Clovis are definitely two bros bonding over being dudes, 100%. Maybe not super outwardly, but it's there. The whole thing smacks of Gender. They both want what the other got.

Does that translate to a crush from Isabeau that Clovis is oblivious to? I haven't decided yet (I lean towards yes? because thinking about Loop having an aneurysm watching Isabeau be an idiot trying to confess to Clovis makes me happy)

They're friends, at a minimum.

Hey Wait a Second! How is Clovis with Touch?

He's so-so about it! He has the bonus of having his armor insulate him, so, the party will casually touch his armored bits like his gloves and chestplate, but...he reacts about as well as Siffrin is to sudden touch. He'd like it! But. Uh...Well. Not like he can remember a time when someone hugged him, you know? (He'd like a hug, but that would be weird to ask for. Something something knightly distance something something.)

But Wait! There's One More Party Member! What about Bonnie?

(Yes for the timecraft from the Stagemaster, btw, i'll get into it another time)

Eye incident? What Eye Incident? Bonnies right over there, see?

Bonnies all well and go- what? You want them to turn around? Okay...Hey! Bonnie!

Turn around for us!

See? Bonnies fine. Everything is fine. It's. Fine. Maybe we'll get into the tale there another time. (That's not a typo. Bonnie calls him Cloves :) )

get out of here you cheeky twink

Anyways, what's the Conclusion here?

Clovis wants to support the party. Clovis, just a little bit selfishly, wants to be useful to them just a little bit longer, if only to make sure Bonnie gets back to their sister (and so she can yell at him profusely and maybe beat him to death with a hammer)

If Siffrin's mantra is 'i'm fine', Clovis' is 'I can handle it.'

See? He's strong. That's what knights are for, right? Bearing the burden? He can handle it. He can handle it.

SO WHY CAN'T HE HANDLE IT?!

Once again I hope you enjoyed this little journey here, and i'd like to thank everyone again for being so curious about my brainrot (and a big thanks again to the isat discords AU channel for feeding my worms)

Anyways thank you byyyyeeeeeeeee, have Clovis enjoying a parfait

[yesimwriting]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNd1uDMP8/

Louis and bestie reader fighting the married allegations after the books is published (lestat and reader dedicated chapters were neck to neck)

MARRIAGE ALLEGATIONS 😭 the video has me crying that's exactly how they talk to each other too

Ik Daniel's messy enough to purposefully give bestie reader one or two more chapters than Lestat just to start something (also there really was that much bestie reader content to put in there).

This concept is so funny to me, here's a short list of things bestie reader centric things in Daniel's book that started a lavender marriage conspiracy theory:

During the interview, Daniel once jokingly referred to bestie reader as Louis's 'girl crush' and instead of laughing it off or defending his relationship with Armand, Louis said something about bestie reader being such an amazing person she warrants feeling deeper feelings than a simple 'crush'.

Sometimes the bestie reader tangents Louis goes on are so long that Daniel just pretends to take notes (because his non-fiction book on vampires doesn't need a chapter detailing Louis's fascinating introduction to the world of skincare).

There's at least two anecdotes in the book about reader and Louis silently agreeing to act like they're together while out when reader wants to avoid male attention.

Even though Louis isn't planning on dying, he's implied that bestie reader is in his will.

Louis and bestie reader once got into a playful argument about whether or not they would have been in a lavender marriage if bestie reader was alive in the early 1900's. When reader rejects his joking proposal (like the girl in the video), Louis (who has had multiple vampires literally beg for this level of commitment from him) was a little too offended by the response. Daniel summarizes this interaction and puts it in the book (for context, not drama ofc).

Bestie reader has a very intricately designed ring that Louis gave her as a gift. She may or may not wear it on her ring finger every day.

Bonus/only slightly related:

After reading the book, Lestat says that he left Louis to Armand not to some random girl. Lestat's ranting is so intense it takes Louis a second to realize he's talking about bestie reader. Things do not get better when Louis tells Lestat that if he so much as looks at bestie reader the wrong way Louis isn't even going to get mad, he's just going to leave.

I'm sure you can imagine how interesting Lestat and bestie reader's relationship is right after their first meeting. ---- a/n this ask found me at such an ideal time because I was thinking of potentially writing an iwtv fic primarily set in the early 1900's timeline where reader and Louis are friends and they get married in an attempt at appeasing both of their families. Does it work? Maybe for about two weeks, but it's okay because then they get to be family and reader can be the one adult that actually treats Claudia well. Also I feel like peak toxic Lestat would use her as a bargaining chip every five minutes 😭. It's not very planned out yet, but if anyone's interested, pls lmk <33

[ozai-the-bonsai]

Could you write for Daemon targaryen like currently after all those nightmares in harnehal he finds a prisoner of harnehal as the only person who brings him peace him falling in love with her and trying to be better person he still fights for team black obviously rahaenya is definitely not happy with these arrangements especially seeing him all dedicated all in love some things he never have done for her but she have no option currently rather accepting his second wife though at the end when team black would be winning and fight at harnehal like aemond Vs Daemon she ask for reader's head happy ending at the end please or anything you wanna write I just wanna see Daemon happy in love at end please

Finally I have time for my hobbies again! Sorry I left you waiting for ages, this term the exam season was tougher than what I have been accustomed to… Anyways, I have started writing some stuff and I wanted to post the intro instead of writing a full-length chapter 1 since it would have taken a couple more days (:

As a side note, I honestly have no idea where this story will be headed because I have no clear course planned, I had some little ideas and I just started writing them. Also I will be introducing stuff which is not in the asoiaf universe.

I am continuing to read Silmarillion from where I left off and let’s say the ideas about Daemon’s love interest are… inspired from what I have been reading (; Enjoy!

Memento Mori

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 |

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x fem!reader

Warnings: strong language, I am not a native English speaker, reader is (or will be) described with long hair

This is a very short introduction! Also the chapter is from Daemon’s pov. The title is inspired by Memento Mori by Lamb of God (the song has been a great inspiration for the story so far)

The dungeons of Harrenhal were cold, wet and lonely.

He had no idea when, how and why he had gone down there – one moment, he was in his chambers and the next, he was opening his eyes to the mossy stone walls of the dark dungeons with a torch in his hand. The line between dreams and reality was becoming thinner each day he spent in this cursed castle.

As Daemon walked past the empty cells, he tried to shake off this unsettling feeling lingering around him, dancing on his neck on its tippy toes, making him wonder whether he was indeed alone.

I doubt Simon Strong keeps prisoners down here, he thought while wiping the water from his forehead which was dripping from the broken ceiling. Maybe he has decided to lock up the witch?

Just when the Rogue Prince – correction, the King Consort – was about to turn back and leave the depressing, humid and somewhat eerie atmosphere of the dungeons behind, a soft humming reached his ears.

A soft, sweet humming of a song coming from one of the cells at the very end of the darkness.

“What kind of prisoner is Simon Strong hiding here?” Daemon asked, his voice created echoes as he waved the torch in front of him, trying to cast some light.

The humming stopped immediately, as if the sound itself was cut by a knife.

Daemon’s purple eyes widened upon seeing that the last cell was indeed not empty.

There was a young woman inside, looking at him with her eyes full of curiosity. Her hair had an unearthly shine under the dim moonlight. She tilted her head to the side. “You can see me?” She asked, it was the same soft voice from a moment ago, though the sweetness was no longer there to be felt.

Daemon raised an eyebrow at her direction. “Do people not see you?”

The young woman shook her head, her movements – no matter how simple they were – felt almost too harmonious. “Not normally, it is not intended that I am seen.” Stopping for a moment, she eyed Daemon from head to foot. “You are not really here, are you?”

The raised eyebrow quickly turned into a frown. “What do you mean? I am standing in front of you.”

She shook her head once again. As her soft whisper filled his eyes, Daemon started falling into the nothingness, again, for the unknown-th time ever since he had come to Harrenhal.

“Wake up.”

***

When he woke up, trying to catch his breath, Daemon found himself lying on his bed, as always. Anytime he had one of those weird dreams – he wasn’t even sure if he should call them dreams anymore – his consciousness would find its way back to his bed.

Unless he was daydreaming, which were considerably the worse.

“Who the fuck was that weird woman?” Daemon muttered to himself as he stood up, dressing up in his regular robes. The feeling in his stomach was telling him that he had to go down there, to the dungeons, to find that woman. If he were to wait until dawn, he feared she might be gone.

What was it that she said again? It is not intended she is seen?

Leaving his chambers with a torch in his right hand, Daemon shook his head to the thoughts flowing through his mind, causing his silver hair to move. “Weird woman,” he muttered to himself as he walked through the dark corridors of the castle with haste. “She somehow reminds me of the witch.”

The dungeons were as dark and wet as he remembered from the dream. A cold wind was wandering besides him, kissing the mossy walls and licking Daemon’s skin, sometimes whispering wicked words in his ears. Even the wind was odd here, in Harrenhal, but he had somewhat got used to it – hearing its eerie whispers whenever he walked alone during the hour of the wolf.

“Show yourself,” Daemon spoke with a strong voice which created echoes as he stood in front of that very cell from his dream. “Your king commands it!”

“Huh, king?” The same soft voice answered from the dark corner of her cell. The moonlight had left its shining spot, leaving the torch in Daemon’s hands as the only source of light in this entire corridor of the dungeons. “I answer to no king.”

A condescending scoff left Daemon’s lips as he came closer to the bars made of steel, separating him and the weird woman. “You do live in Westros, do you not?” Daemon asked, not really waiting for an answer. “As long as you breathe in this land, you do answer to the King.”

A chuckle came from the darkness. “I have been breathing in this land before your ancestors flew across the Narrow Sea, Daemon Targaryen.”

Taglist: @throughgoeshamilton @mirandastuckinthe80s @xicesam @mariamyousef702 @eddiemadmunson @dont-try-pesticide @sweetybuzz25 @hc-geralt-23 @schniiipsel @ttae-yong @syrma-sensei @asiludida164 @kaitieskidmore1 @irmavanity-blog @pax-2735 @trickrtreatart @shanzeyxsyed @random-human02 @scarwicht @xcallmetaniax @instabull @niiight-dreamerrrr @my-dark-prince @stargaryenx @abaker74 @babywolff @sonnensplitter @bi-narystars @softtina @sadmonke @avalyaaa

[mbbmz]

Long time no see, Ms. VP

꩜ Chapter 1.

꩜ Synopsis. The life of the party wasn’t really for you. An unexpected encounter happens, for the better or for the worse.

꩜ Paring. Bonten!Ran x Fem!Reader

꩜ Chapter warnings. None

꩜ WC. 2.1k

꩜ a/n. Not particularly proud of this one but it’s mostly an introduction chapter, so no smut, sorry! But wait for next chapter ;)

The sound of multiple voices echoed through the hallways, where students were waiting for class time. Some were mindlessly chatting between themselves while others were reading or studying, or whatever.

Ran, however, was attending his favorite activity of the day. The only thing that was worth him leaving his bed so early in the morning.

- "Haitani! Stop playing around and put it on!"

A feminine voice echoed in the hallway. Her uniform was neatly worn, her shirt ironed and her skirt covering her knees. The scowl on her face was the reason he still came here in the first place. Well, that and the fact he wanted to graduate from highschool.

- "Chill out, what’s the big deal? It’s just a tie…"

He almost couldn’t stop an amused smile to form on his face. It was just so funny to him, how dedicated she was for something so small.

- "It’s a dress code violation!"

She corrected, her face scrunching up even more. It was always the same with him. He’d always find a way to piss her off for God knows what reason.

A loud sigh escaped his lips, his fingers circling the edge of the glass. There were days like this. His sleep schedule was off, work was shit, traffic was bad and the bartender somehow managed to fuck up his drink the first time.

He was bored out of his mind. It wasn’t in his habits to stay on the side, but he didn’t seem to find anyone interesting.

His gaze trailed down on the first floor where a mass of people was dancing, bumping into each others. He couldn’t distinguish any any faces, not like he really cared. For some reason, his eyes landed on a girl, chatting with what seemed like her friend. She had a beautiful smile.

- "You should smile more often, suits you."

- "Stop being so stuck up for once, smile and have a good time."

- "There’s that beautiful smile~"

Those memories seemed almost foreign to him. He wasn’t expecting those particular memories to flood through his mind. What was her name?.. He didn’t remember.

- "Chill, VP. You’re gonna get all wrinkled."

He almost chuckled. It’s been a long time since the last time he thought about her. The recollection of her signature scowl felt bittersweet.

- "Huh? You didn’t hear? She moved…"

He still remembers the churning of his stomach at those words. The confusion, the disbelief, the anger.

Why didn’t she tell me?

Ah, who cares anyways.

It was years ago, he didn’t remember her face, let alone her name… No need to dwell over this.

So why did he find himself walking down the stairs of the club, his eyes fixated in her direction?

He needed another drink.

He got closer to the bar, ignoring the lingering thought to just go and see that woman, just to get the confirmation she wasn’t who he thought she was. Suddenly, he felt something, someone bump into his back.

The woman apologized, but it was all white noise to him. He shrugged it off with a gesture of his hand, before walking away.

- "Haitani ? Is that you ?"

He heard a voice, realization hitting him. Ah, he remembered her name now.

- "Haitani ! You’re late again !"

- "Why do you keep getting yourself in trouble, Haitani ?!"

- "Haitani… You again…"

He turned around, a small smile on his face. The first one of the night.

It really was her. How amusing.

- "Well, well… Isn’t it our dear student council vice president ?"

You looked around the place, a hint of nervousness in your eyes. You never really enjoyed the atmosphere in clubs. It was packed, loud and hot. But tonight wasn't about you. Tonight was your best friend bachelorette party, and what she says goes, even if it meant keeping her company in this ridiculously fancy club.

- "(Y/N) ! Why aren't you having fun ?"

You heard her crisp voice directed at you. She was a bit pouty, something you wouldn’t expect from a grown woman like her, but you were used to it by now.

- "I am having fun !"

You lied. After all, you weren’t going to tell her the truth about being bored and annoyed out of your mind at her big night. You didn’t want to ruin it.

She rolled her eyes, getting closer to you. She leaned in closer in a slight wobbly demeanor, probably to whisper something. Yeah, she was definitely tipsy.

- "Do you know why I chose this club ?"

She asked, her voice teasing and playful. It was your turn to roll your eyes.

- "Because you would take any occasion to spend your money in luxurious establishments ?"

You arched a brow, even though your tone was a bit playful as well. She scoffed, light-heartedly nudging your shoulder.

- "Because… I was thinking… if there is a chance a man took interest in you… let him at least be rich !"

She said humorously, making you roll your eyes again. You swore you’d end up cross eyed by the end of the night.

- "But seriously though, you’re thirty and still single !"

Her words made you wince slightly. You were aware that the more you waited, the harder it will get to find someone. It wasn’t your fault, you were just… not really good at flirting. You sighed, on your way to get another drink.

As you made your way to the bar through the mass of dancing people, you bumped into someone. You immediately apologized, not yet looking at the face of the lanky man you bothered. As you looked up, trying to get a better look at the stranger, you were met with a familiar pair of violet eyes.

- "S-Stop looking at me like that, Haitani!.."

- "Like what ?"

- "Like you’re coming up with an evil plan or something…"

But before you could say anything, the man turned his back at you, making his way to the bar. Panic filled you, not wanting to let him go, for some reason.

- "Haitani ? Is that you ?"

You found yourself saying, unable to stop the words from coming out of your mouth. You needed to know if it was him. It probably wasn’t, but the worst that can happen was an embarrassing moment. However, you saw the man stop, he had that smile on his face.

- "You know you’re creepy, Haitani…"

- "Damn, you really have no filter, do you ?"

- "It’s the way you’re smiling… like you have something on your mind."

You never wanted to admit how much you loved that smile.

- "Well, well… Isn’t it our dear student council vice president ?"

His words made your eyes widen. It was him. The troublemaker that managed to lighten up your high school years. You were faced with a mixture of clashing feelings. Of course, you were surprised, pleasantly so. So why didn’t you find the strength to smile at him ? Was it because it has been such a long time ? Or was it because of the gnawing guilt that crushed you ?

You left without saying goodbye.

You managed to give him an awkward smile. You didn’t really know what to do. Part of you wanted to talk to him, but the other part was calling you stupid. You knew what you were doing when you moved. You knew you wouldn’t tell him anything, you knew you wouldn’t tell him goodbye. You knew you would hurt him.

But… past was past, right?..

- "It’s been a while since the last time I’ve been called that…"

You laughed awkwardly, still trying to get your head around the fact that Ran Haitani was standing in front of you. He was… well, how could you even describe your relationship?..

You were polar opposite. You were part of the student council, and he was your worst nightmare. At first, at least.

You only saw him smile, but somehow, it didn’t hit the same as it did in high school. Maybe because it wasn’t the smile you remembered.

This wasn’t his teasing, shit eating grin. It was more like a cold, calculating smirk. Scrutinizing you, sizing you up. Almost hypocritical. It was an unpleasant feeling.

He had changed. A lot. Of course, it has been more than ten years but… you wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for those lazy violet eyes of his. You remembered the way you would lecture him on his long hair, and how it wasn’t “appropriate for school” or bullshit like that. His short hair made him look more… mature, in a way. You almost found yourself wanting to run your hand in the lilac strands. You cleared your throat, trying to find something to say. But it was hard with his studying gaze fixated on you. But before you could say anything, you saw him taking out a pack of cigarettes.

- "Care to join me for a smoke ?"

The chilly wind made you shiver slightly, but it was still better than the suffocating atmosphere inside the club. Maybe you should’ve worn a longer dress to accommodate the cold weather of November. You looked at the tall man beside you, who didn’t seem bothered by the cold. You sighed, feeling the wind blow the smoke of his cigarette in your direction. He had a somewhat distant look, one you don’t think you’ve ever seen before.

- "So, you came back, after all."

You heard him saying, still looking into the distance. You glanced at him inquisitively, not quite understanding his statement.

- "In Tokyo, I mean."

He clarified, making you hum in acknowledgment. You moved out of Tokyo when you were seventeen, in the middle of the school year. Well, it was about that time too, in November. You still remember your class already thinking about Christmas, planning winter outings with their friends, Christmas dates… You even remember planning to get a gift for him. But that was before you got the news that you would go live with your mother. This sudden change didn’t enchant you, but you didn’t really have your say on the matter.

- "Yeah… I came back to go to college."

You finally answered, not really looking at him. You didn’t want to talk about how you left without saying anything, even though you knew you would have to, eventually. What were you thinking, back then ? Maybe you just didn’t want to say goodbye, so you didn’t. If only you could remember.

You looked back at him, only to find out he was staring right at you. You felt almost small under his piercing gaze. You wish you could find that easiness and that tranquility from back then. But you couldn’t. Now the air was heavy and it felt like there was a wall between the two of you. You wish you had the strength, the right to break that wall, but you couldn’t. Nothing was like before, and you couldn’t do anything about it.

Was it wrong to want it to be like back then ? You were both adults now. You couldn’t afford that nonchalance you both had years ago. Those days, so far away yet so vivid in your memory. You remember now.

You were in love with him. Maybe that’s why you were so scared to say goodbye.

The silence felt heavy on your shoulders, and none of you were saying anything. You were just standing there while he was smoking his cigarette. Back then, he would’ve already tried to piss you off at least 3 times. But he didn’t.

- "What ?"

You asked, wanting to know why he was staring at you so much. In fact, you dreaded the question you knew was on the tip of his tongue. After the few seconds, he spoke.

- "Nothing. This dress looks nice on you."

You didn’t know how to react. Maybe it just… didn’t matter to him. You wished it did, though. You gripped the guardrail, looking at one of Tokyo’s tall buildings. The old you would’ve stammered over her words at a compliment from him. But it wasn’t the Ran you knew, you realized that. It was no use reminiscing the good ol’ time, it was all gone.

- "Thank you."

Then the silence again. You wondered why you even followed him in the first place. Perhaps you were looking for an occasion to justify yourself. It was crazy, because none of it would even matter if you hadn't landed on him tonight. All of those memories would’ve stayed locked up deep into the abyss of your mind if his eyes hadn’t met yours. Suddenly, a small vibration cut through the heavy silence. You took out your phone, looking at the text you just received.

|Bitch where r u 12:47am

|Im worried 12:49am

You sighed, knowing it was time to part ways. You would probably not see him again, maybe it was for the best.

- "I should go, my friend’s looking for me."

He didn’t say anything for a moment, silently bringing the stick to his lips.

- "Yeah."

He simply answered. You didn’t know whether to be disappointed or glad he was letting you go this easily. You finally decided you shouldn’t care.

You turned away, walking back inside the building, not sparing him a last glance, the air filled with unspoken words.

Hi guys! I hope you are all doing okay. Im back with my first long fic, and i hope you'll like it! Dont hesitate to point out mistakes i might have made, english isnt my first language. If you have any questions about it, my inbox is open! Tell me if you want to be tagged.

I unfortunately didn’t manage to tag everyone, sorry about that.

Taglist. @honeygonebads-blog @thesadvampire @nahoyaandsouya @onyankaponsbae @shadowstar123

[honeekyuu]

talk too much. [suna rintarou x reader] introductions.

two losers and a supermodel

yn + friends !

yn: math major, 4th year; thought about becoming a math teacher after college but realized at some point that she doesnt have that kind of patience. considering grad school or dropping out entirely, it really depends on the day. writes creatively in her free time

alisa: also a math major, 4th year; literally never in classes or school at all because she's always at modeling gigs around the world. somehow has better grades than yn

suga: education major, 4th year; despises math with a burning passion. has one special interest and it's sea creatures. everyone thinks hes the sweetest thing but alisayn know better. hes crazy

alisugayn were placed in the same dorm in their 1st year -- alisayn roommates and suga across the hall (his roommate was kita, they still get along and talk regularly)

daily affirmations (/derogatory)

suna + friends !

suna: fine arts major, 4th year; wants to be a tattoo artist. does not realize how hot he is (he's such a loser). roped into daily affirmations by komori, who wanted to create a club dedicated to boosting campus morale and self esteem. he's been trying to get out of it for over a year now because daily affirmations has so many members that they really dont need him anymore

komori: econ major, 4th year; he's kind of evil lmao. he really did start daily aff with good intentions and he really cares about running it well, but when he realized how big it had gotten he kind of regretted making it a free service LMAOOO he 100% plans to use daily aff and its success as a portfolio point for the job market. treats it like hes running an actual company even though everything is free and unpaid

kita: agriculture major, 4th year; big fan of sending plant facts to his partners in order to cheer them up. very kind, a fan favorite. super polite and often used as an example when komori gives the yearly "welcome to daily aff" talk

komosuna are high school best friends. komori dragged suna kicking and screaming to form daily aff in their first year so that he could reach the minimum member requirement to register clubs to the university (the third was sakusa, who dropped out the MOMENT another member signed up). komori pulled suna into a group chat with kita as an "intervention" when suna started getting a little too sassy with his partners. they just kept the gc going

Application for Daily Affirmations

i'm here again, talkin' myself out of // my own happiness

talk too much [renee rapp].

[laurmaupilled]

Hello this will probably be super niche but i have thought about this a lot so i now present an au i am calling

Dungerons and Diaries

and this is my first, possibly only post for it, so i give you...

Diaries characters if they were in Dungeons and Dragons

starting with:

Aphmau

› lvl 3 / protector aasimar / light domain cleric

› time-lost traveler background

› to preface: aphmau will be the lowest level character in this post, but in an actual story, it would not stay that way for long. her aasimar-ness comes from something very similar, if not identical, to actual MCD – or if you want a DnD comparison, something similar to midnight and mystra. she's not irene's direct reincarnation, but someone created to carry on irene's legacy (in this case, irene is part of a pantheon of gods that i will eventually get around to working on). like i said, it's basically the same case as in Diaries.

› i chose her time-lost traveler background for a few reasons. while there are some others that may work in this case, in this AU aphmau, although created or "born" in the story's modern day, has a mind that is – sort of – from the past. carrying irene's essence, she also carries parts of her memory, and suffers from intense & frequent flashbacks of a life she never really lived, hundreds of years ago. she struggles to understand the world she's in & the modern problems it faces and may even know & reflexively follow older customs and social standards.

› finally, although she is a cleric, aphmau's powers don't come from actual worship, but from the inherent divinity present inside her. she functionally is a divine power nepo baby.

Laurance

› lvl "10" / human / battle master fighter (8) + pact of the shadow cabal warlock (2) /

› knight of the order background

› laurance's... well, everything is pretty self-explanatory. being a knight of the order really just means he trained at a school to be a guard & is now a part of an association of guards/knights. most guards in the world would have this background. notably, laurance is the only human in an adoptive family of elves, which is a fact he's had to reconcile with many times in his life, as they will live much, much longer than he will.

› although the level 10 may make him look higher level, laurance would be level 7 at his introduction, with his levels from warlock coming in only after his time in the nether. for most of season 1, levels would be put into his fighter class, not warlock. i chose pact of the shadow cabal because it's easily the closest fit to the shadow knight organization, with the warlock's patron being a group or council seeking power rather than one being. in this case, it would of course be the shadow knights, who torture laurance into making a pact. a life of serving the shadow lord in exchange for powers of his own, (eventual) eternal life, and (relative) peace from their torment.

Garroth

› lvl 8 / high elf / oath of the crown paladin, protection fighting style

› noble background

› despite the name, oath of the crown paladins are dedicated not necessarily to royalty or a kingdom, but to society, civilization, and upholding the law. of course, in this particular scenario, the society garroth is sworn to protect and uphold is phoenix drop. i chose protection style fighting for him, because, well. he's a guard. he protects.

› though i still think multiple backgrounds could fit garroth, i ultimately settled on noble. although he is a guard, and has clearly been removed from his noble upbringing for some time, my thought is that isn't the sort of upbringing you just shake off or forget about. he would still carry ideals, skills, and possibly connections from his past.

› in this au, garroth doesn't flee o'khasis to avoid an arranged marriage, but to escape the corruption running unchecked in his family and in the city. it was when he reached phoenix drop and swore himself to the village and the lord there that he took his oath as paladin, vowing to protect his villagers from corruption and harm. of course, in his mind, he has failed at this goal several times, but has still never given up.

Dante

› lvl 5 / human / wayfinder ranger

› haunted one background

› this one may surprise people a bit, with the ranger aspect. partially i was just trying to avoid making a bunch of fighters, but also i felt ranger fit him better, considering the way he's introduced – previously wandering aimlessly, searching for someone to protect, then saving donna when they're captured and leading her to safety... it all feels very ranger-y to me. wayfinder rangers in particular specialize in guiding others through dangerous wilderness, which i thought was a more interesting interpretation than dante just being a guard looking for a random village/lord to protect.

› the haunted one background might be a bit more self-explanatory. dante is haunted by the loss of his family, the loss of his brother, the loss of his village, and the fact his brother decided to leave only his memory intact. imo this background fits dante perfectly. one of the suggested "harrowing events" for this background almost even describes dante – "a monster that slaughtered dozens of innocent people spared your life, and you don’t know why."

› lastly, i put dante at a lower level because he's newly graduated from guard school in the series, and is almost certainly nowhere near on par with someone like garroth or laurance (although, the two of them being next in line for the jury of nine probably means that few people are). still, they both talk to him sometimes like he's a kid, so it's not a leap to assume he's younger, and it's just fact that he's less experienced.

Katelyn

› lvl 10 / half-elf / spellsword swordmage

› athlete background

› for katelyn i decided on swordmage, again because i was trying to avoid a bunch of fighters, but also because there's definitely a magical aspect to the jury of nine, and i thought it would be interesting if i had katelyn especially lean into that and make it part of her fighting style. she primarily uses spells to enhance her weapon attacks, to make getting close for weapon attacks easier, or to make herself harder to attack. this means she is almost never using a spell as an outright attack – although she does love a good fireball. she also has a "bond" with her gauntlets, so to speak, and is extremely attached to them.

› athlete background is pretty self-explanatory, i think

› frankly, it's tough to figure out more details for her until i decide how things like the jury of nine would work in this au, so for now i'll leave her alone, but if there's more interest i can expand later when i work on the details a bit more

Aaron

› lvl 7 / human / order of the lycan blood hunter

› faceless background

› i chose a lycan blood hunter for aaron for a couple reasons. the lycan part, i suppose, is obvious – he is a werewolf in mystreet, he's introduced hunting werewolves, a lycanthrope hunting lycanthropes is thematic, i guess. another aspect was the 'becoming the evil to fight the evil' thing, which i think is very fitting of aaron, the whole trying not to lose yourself to the darkness while battling it. i honestly dont like aaron very much and dont find him very interesting but i didnt want to just cast him aside, i wanted to make him interesting to me. and i think an aaron who lost his family and is now going to VERY extreme lengths – extreme lengths like becoming a blood hunter and taking on the curse of being a werewolf – to track zane down is just infinitely more interesting to me than the bland edgelord we got (sorry, aaron fans).

› on that note : in this world, aaron of course did still lose his village and family to zane (although even that i would change, because the way zane wiped out falconclaw seems really weird and convoluted to me?), and the idea of vengeance consumed his entire life. undergoing a ritual forbidden in much of the world to become a blood hunter and a lycanthrope, briefly part of an underground blood hunter order before going rogue, aaron spends each and every day tracking zane, stalking him, waiting for his opening to strike. almost every waking moment dedicated to thoughts of getting his revenge, overtly aggressive and violent at times, aaron definitely teeters the edge between fighting the monsters and becoming them.

› the faceless background is pretty spot on for his character in diaries, honestly. after he lost his family, he simply ditched his past identity – wanting to separate from his past, not wanting to be recognized. he has no persona, he is simply nameless, identityless. to him, everyone who needed or deserved to know who he was, is gone.

Travis

› lvl 7 / tiefling / hellfire sorcerer

› legendary lineage background

› travis hails from a very small village deep in the mountains of gal'ruk. on his mother's side he comes from a very long line of revered warriors who hunt devils, and, in his grandmother's case, make deals with them to cure their sick daughter. in exchange for the good health of travis' mother, a powerful devil 'infected' their bloodline, for lack of a better word, and travis was born a tiefling – despite being the product of two perfectly normal humans, he inherited both a fiendish appearance and fiendish powers from the devil. his mother dedicated the rest of her life to hunting the devil, and travis was mostly raised by his grandmother, the only villager who wasn't scared of him or just plain nasty toward him.

› despite being shunned by his village his whole life, travis was the one who took up the mantle protecting it when his mother lost her fight against the devil after hunting him for many years. his grandmother was the one who helped him master his powers, and although he was eventually cast out of his village, he continues to guard the surrounding areas and fight off dangers before they can reach the people.

› although friendly, travis is hesitant to trust people for several reasons. after a lifetime of mistreatment by people for his appearance and powers, both things out of his control, he generally expects to be distrusted and thus inherently distrusts others in return. besides that, he was taught by every relative who was willing to speak to him (not many) that devils are tricksters and liars by nature, and will cheat anyone to get what they want, meaning travis is also constantly on the lookout for that. of course, most of his family also considered him a devil, so... if he picked up a bit of a manipulative streak, who's surprised? (although my version would never use it for something as creepy as we see in his diaries intro).

and that's it for this post, which ended up being super... super long to be honest. quite a few people seemed interested though! so if any of you read this all the way through and want more i would loooove love to make another post. the characters in this post i consider the "main group" of diaries, but i also have character ideas for like, nana, lucinda, Zane, nicole, zoey, etc... i would also make a post about what spells/weapons/attacks everyone has or go more into detail about their classes and things like that if anyone would be interested :)

[mu-ji-ji-world]

Umji free use at waterbomb festival

The waterbomb organiser organised an online event that the context is about upload the pictures from your bias that took during the waterbomb event. You sroll through your phone for finding the pictures that you wanted to participate in. You noticed there are some special pictures saved in your phone and decide to use it for the participation.

The next two day, you received a message that shown you got selected from the event and rewarded a special prize under the category of Viviz. You realize there contain an address and urged to come there by 5pm for prizing. You then Googling the address and perceiving it is the same place you attended the waterbomb festival few days ago. You then preparing yourself and going for the destination that instructed.

After you arrived, you saw three big title 'Waterbomb Festival Special' and there are three stalls placed at the entrance each represent to each of the members, Eunha, Sinb and Umji. Thinking no doubt, you straight away go to Umji's stall. The lady staff welcome you with a big smile and ask you to show the information that you got this morning. After confirmation is done, she handed you a big watergun that filled with liquid inside tell you "Enjoy yourself and be well prepared for the insane performance later..." You wanna ask more about what she just said but she only signal you to go to the main stage and serve the other participants.

You saw there already some people standing at the podium and waiting for the show to begin. All of them had the similar watergun on their hands and you found out the majority is Eunha, Sinb and Umji is just a few as you already knew that the popularity of Eunha is the highest among three of them. After half an hour, the show start with the mc giving an introduction "Welcome all to this special waterbomb festival that dedicated only for the fans of Viviz, the special show will start in awhile... And again a great congratulations to all the winners that got selected from the online event, you all are very lucky that got selected by the girls themselves. Last but not least be well prepared and get ready for the wild night of the party... I'm here announce, The Show Start Now!!!"

The main stage curtain begin opening from the middle and pulling back from both end. The music start and the spotlight light the stage. You saw Sinb sitting on the floor while Umji standing behind her. Your jaw drop when you saw both of them literally just on their bikini during the performance, Umji on red pair, Sinb on blue pair. "Boy Shhh!" Umji started the stage and she now go to the back of Eunha, who is on purple pair of bikini. "Boy just hu-uh-uh-uh-hush..." Sinb continue to sing until "Hu-uh-uh-uh-hush" Sinb spreading her legs and triggering a cheer from the crowds. "Sugar sweet..." Eunha big tits was a sharp contrast to her cute voices. The stage continue with Viviz butt twerking, thighs jiggling, tits bouncing and crowd screaming. The stage really on fire as well as you especially your bottom part.

Viviz greeting when the song end. Eunha start voiced "Are you all enjoying the show?" The crowd cheering. "Are you all loving the show?" Sinb jumped in. The crowd joying. "Are you all hard right now?" Umji added. The crowd roaring. Eunha continue "You all know the liquid that inside the watergun is special?" All men confused and look at their watergun, Sinb smiled "The liquid contain water and... our love juices... " "Later on, you all can use the watergun to shoot us, anywhere you all like..." Umji said. They perform the last song called 'Maniac', all the men below the stage start to shoot them with the guns same as you. You aiming it to Umji tits and pussy and putting all your horniness to the guns and constantly firing the liquid on her body along with her ass when she start shaking her ass during the climax of the song.

"All of you really that horny right now, three of us really drained by you all, so now it's time for fun time" After Umji stop talking three huge cubicle start to raise up from the bottom of stage till it being fixed on the stage. Each of them enter their exclusive cubicle. Being the one standing at the front of the stage, you being the first that lead by the staff to the cubicle where Umji at. After you enter the cubicle, you saw Umji sitting at a bench cross-leg and giving you a sweet smile when saw you. The staff tells you that you only have 30 minutes and the timer at the cubicle start to countdown.

Umji being all wet as her hair and bikini all drained with liquid make her look like a hottie. You come near Umji and start to taste her lips. Both of your tongues lingering with each other and exchange saliva. Your hand find it's way to her bikini top rope and untie it. Her bikini top start to slide down her tits then to the floor. Your mouth keep tasting her while both of your hands grope her tits. Your hands are wet by the droplets on her tits but you careless it and keep fondling her tits. Umji moans muffled by your lips when you pinch both of her nipples. You keep toys her tits and nips make Umji moans keep leaking from her lips. You then pulled away and place your lips on her nip, you constantly sucking and licking one of her nip and pinch her other. Each time you retract from her tits you left a pop sound. You remain doing the same thing to both of her tits, Umji keep moaning and shivering while heat and pleasure started to pool at her bottom. You then untie her bikini panty and enjoy her wet pussy. "Wow, Umji you really so wet from my play..." "No... This is because the event just now..." Umji refuted, but you only laugh it off and not arguing with her. You spread her legs wide and smell her floral, she feels embarrassed and wants to cover it with her hands. "Stop it..." You slap her hand so she could only take it back. You then lick her fold and lap all her juices up. You part her lips apart and savour her wetten pink flesh. Your tongue pass through her lips and lick the meat inside. You fuck her pussy with your tongue and make Umji moans by pleasure. Her clit is your next target after you pull away from her flesh, you keep lick and suck it until you satisfied. After that, you insert one finger inside her and start fingering her, her moans become louder when you insert another in. "You say you didn't go pleasure by me but do you heard the naughty sounds produce by your cunt?" You stopped and pulled away from her. "Why you stop..." Umji whimpered. "If you want the pleasure then beg for it..." Umji didn't say anything but her hand approaching her cunt. You slap her hand and stop her, "Hey, you can't touch yourself now..." Umji's puppy eyes looking at you sincerely but you ignored her. "If you don't beg, I will leave..." You really won't leave as in front of you are a perfect sex doll but you find it fun to tease her. "Please... Fuck... Me..." Umji surrender. You smirk and come near her. "Prepare yourself now..." you then shove two fingers inside her cunt and rapidly fingering her also use your thumb to rub against her bud too. Umji loud moans echoing inside the cubicle and she scream at top of her lungs when she climax. Her juices squirting out of her hole and draining your hand and shirt. You taste some of her juices and wrap the remaining on your shirt.

"My turn now..." you removed your shirt and pants and left only boxer on. "Umji, come to help me take off the boxer..." Your erected cock make a huge bulge on the boxer and the top had already stained by your precum. Umji is excited and she kneel in front of you and grab the hem of the boxer then pull it down. Your rock hard cock slap Umji's face when it free from restricted and stand proudly in front of her eyes. You simultaneously lift your legs and let her take off the boxer from you. "Smell it.." You order her. Umji smell the stained part and feel dizzy by your manhood smell. "Suck my cock now..." Umji start to lick the base along to the top and from top to the base. She also lick and suck your balls, make you surprised by her expert blowjob and groan by pleasure. "Wow Umji. You really a slutty girl... Secretly learnt the blowjob without anybody know..." She only smile at you and deliver your cock to her orifice and begin to bobbing her head up and down and constantly lick your opening. She use her mouth to suck your upper shaft while use her hand to stroke the bottom part. The mumbling and slurping sounds from Umji is like a wonderful melody to you and make you got more pleasure that you expected. "Umji... I'm near... Cumming..." you near your limit, Umji start to fasten the speed and let you hit the limit. "Umji..." you groan her name loudly and cumming inside her mouth, your cum paint her throat and oral white. Your cock stop throbbing when you finish.

Umji happily show your cum to you, "Umji you such a good girl and now drink it all..." She did what you told her. You place her on the bench and spread her legs wide then place your still hard cock at her entrance. You felt your heartbeat become faster as you now are on the way to fuck an idol but you clear your mind in the few next second. You rub your saliva-coated cock against Umji's lips but didn't go inside her pussy. It make her whim "Don't tease me... Please fuck my needy cunt already..." You granted her wish and slowly thrust into her pussy. Both of you let out comfortable moans by each other serve. You moan by Umji's tight cunt wrap around your cock tightly, meanwhile Umji moans by your thick cock stretch her pussy walls apart. "Umji, you really so tight, wet and warm..." Look like her daily practicing and stretching had granted her a great vagina. You start moving by pull out and push inside her. Each thrust let Umji murmured and built contentment inside her body. You then pull her up and want to fuck her in carry-on. Both of Umji's hands wrap around the back of your neck and both legs wrap around your waist while your hands grab her ass for support her weight. Your hands clutch both of her ass cheeks and make her let out some meowing. Your hands keep moving up and down as making Umji riding on you. "Please... Go.. Faster..." She beg you to fuck her more speedy when she already get used of her length. You confer her needs and pin her to the wall then start to thrust her more drastically. Umji's shriek and the sound of both bodies slapping with each other had filled the room. It wouldn't took long to let Umji reaching her corner. "I'm cumming..." You faster your penetrating pace and drive Umji to her heaven. Umji whine and her whole body shaking hard and a gush of her juices squirt on the floor after you pull out.

"Umji, fuck yourself on my cock..." you laying down on the bench and Umji position herself at your hard cock and impale herself on it. You groan as your cock ramming into her deepest part. Umji grinding on your cock for ready herself up. She then start to ride your cock up and down. You feel extreme great as Umji's wall keep contract and expand around your cock. Umji's lips keep leaking out moans when she is bouncing on you. Both of her tits bounce freely as she is riding her, you grab both of her tits and massage it. Umji's moans become more peak when her tits are toyed. Her another orgasm hit her when you pinch her nip and rub her clit together during the riding session. She exploded on you and her juices gushing out from her cavity and drained your stomach and a bit of your chest.

"Umji, I want to fuck you from behind... Stay on doggy right now..." your cock can easily pass through her holes as she already got a good amount of lubricant. You fondling both of her ass cheeks and slapping each. Umji cry loud by the pleasure you giving her, you keep smacking her and cause her to leak out more juices. You stop when both of her ass cheeks are red. You begin to bang her from behind and sometimes pull her ponytail which make her let out squeal moans by the pain and pleasure that she get. With doggy, the movement make your balls constantly hiting her clit when you push into her. A beeping sound occur and the staff go in and tell you the time is out. When you want to pull out from Umji, she stop you. She tell the lady staff that she still didn't enjoy enough and ask for permission for longer my time. At the same time the cubicle opened and another staff had lead another guy in and you heard Eunha and Sinb loud moan in the background. Umji then tell the staff she can handle both cocks at the same time. Seeing Umji being headstrong the staff could do nothing and let her be what she wants and left the cubicle. "Please continue fuck me..." You continue to move in and out of Umji as her wish and you get to know the entered guy called Alex from his short introduction. Umji ask him to take off all his cloth and come to her. She stroke his cock a few seconds and put it inside her mouth. Both of Umji's end stuff by cocks as she's sucking Alex's cock while you banging her from behind. Her muffled moans vibrate on Alex's cock and let him groan by pleasure. You then quicken your penetrating speed on Umji which cause her static and deepthroat Alex' and send more electric shock to him. A few moment later, three of you cum at the same time, Umji's juices flooded on your cock and you dump all your cum inside Umji cunt while Alex shoot his load inside Umji's throat. A mixture of creamy substance start to flow out from Umji's cunt and you cupped some with your finger and let Umji taste it. "Umji, clean the mess that you created up..." You point your cock at her oral and Umji begin to suck it clean. Three of you rest for a few minutes. Later on, Alex start to fuck Umji's cum-filled hole which make Alex could fuck Umji as fast as possible. You took your phone out and record the hot scene. You keep zooming in and out the intersection point and the facial expression of Alex and Umji. Seeing Alex and Umji having sex make you horny again and ask Umji to suck you out while you recorded her scene. Umji's skillful blowjob make you cum the third round of the night. You balls being dry by Umji but you think it worth. Half an hour later, the timer beeping again, this time the staff come in and called both of you out, before you exit the cubicle Umji ask you to give her your phone and you saw her tap something and return to you. You then realize is her phone number, and tell you to call her if you need her. You nod to her and leave the cubicle with Alex and you saw the staff lead another guy in Umji's cubicle as well as Eunha's and Sinb's. This special waterbomb festival last until midnight. All the men under the stage are done while the idols passed out on the stages. The MC appears and announce the event is end and ask all the participants to keep it as a secret...

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Do it for Him | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You and your husband can't conceive but you will do everything in your power to make it possible to pacify his father's wishes. Little did you know your father in law is a little too willing to help. Pairing: fem!reader x Father in Law Jungkook Word Count: 2.8k Warnings: Yändere, and manipulation into cheating and explicit language. a/n: This is my first time writing something like this so I'm not really sure how I did. There's gonna be a part two for sure so this is more like the introduction part of the Yandere aspect and setting up the plot. And a special thanks to @coralmusicblaze for the request <3

"Wait please, let's talk about this" I say running down the stairs after my husband. "You heard the doctor yourself, we can't have children" he rushes to say but decides to stop in his tracks, his back to me still. "They didn't say we can't, they just said it would be more difficult. There are still options available to us" I say hoping to reassure him. 

"First I'm a shit son for wanting to marry someone I love instead of marrying for money" he says bitterly looking towards me. "A now I'm an even worse son because I can't 'continue the family line' so his corporate empire can continue or whatever the fuck he talks about" he says as he continues to beat himself up about something that isn't even his fault. 

"We'll work through this. We can keep trying and we will continue going to the doctor to see if they can help as well okay?" I say rubbing his arm. "It'll all be okay as long as we stick together" I say holding the side of his face softly encouraging him to look at me. "Okay?" I question, waiting for his agreement. 

He looks in my eyes, seeing my dedication to him and he nods his head, whispering a quick okay before placing a soft kiss on my lips. "Everything will work out, I promise" I say wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him close to me and he returns it right away, holding me in a firm embrace until the car pulls around, the driver opening the door for us.

"Where are we going?" I ask, seeing that we've missed the turn to go home. "We have to go tell my parents" he says with a clenched jaw. "What? Now? We only just found out, shouldn't we at least take some time to think about this?" I ask concerned with what might happen if we tell them while he's still in a vulnerable state of mind. "I would rather just get it over with so they won't pester us about it anymore. Let's just tell them that we're having trouble conceiving and we're going to go to a doctor to see if they can help. That way the blame can't be put on either of us" he reasons and I nod my head in agreement. 

"Hey" he says grabbing my hand making me look up at him. "You know I love you right?" he says and runs his thumb along my knuckles. I nod my head and give him a tight lipped smile, putting up a strong front for him. Truth is, this is just as upsetting for him as it is for me, if not more. No one wants to admit that they need help with something that is supposed to happen naturally, between a man and woman that love each other. A child made with love...

"So basically your dick doesn't work" Mr. Jeon says, not pulling any punches. "Honey please" Mrs. Jeon says, trying to reign him back in which helps a bit. "My dick works just fine" my husband says ultimately taking on a defensive stance against his father. "First you beg me to give you my blessing to marry her, and now after all of that you're not able to do the one thing that I am asking you to do for our family. We need an heir to inherit the company and I want to see that happen now" his father says standing up and walking out of his office that we all had gathered in. "Let me talk to him" my mother in law says with a pained expression, "No, it's fine I'll go" I say standing up and giving her a kiss on the cheek telling her not to worry.    

 "I'm not interested in a lecture about the children" my father in law says with his back turned to me, clearly thinking it was his wife who has come to reason with him. "I'm not interested in doing that either" I say walking closer to him where he is standing on his balcony, over looking the city. He turns to face me and takes in my form for a little longer than I had hoped he would, his eyes dragging up my figure, lingering on my chest before turning back around. "I'm sorry you had to see that" he says not bothering to spare me a second glance.

I decide to walk up to the railing next to him and take in the view as well, breathing in the fresh air and trying to regain some sense of peace before I try speaking again. "It's his fault isn't it?" he questions, still looking out at the scene in front of him. "It isn't anyone's fault" I say mirroring his posture. "It has to be someone's fault" he says, upset that no one wants to tell him the truth. "It's funny, you both put up such a fight to be together and it turns out you aren't as compatible as you thought you were" he laughs bitterly,  pushing himself off the railing and turning to walk back inside. 

"That's not fair, it's not our fault" I call after him. "Life's not fair sweetheart. Get used to it" he says and closes the door behind him. I let out a sigh and turn back toward the city and look up at the sky, trying to clear my thoughts and hold back the tears that I can feel are moments away from falling. "Hey" my husband says, placing his hand on the small of my back making me jump not realizing that he had already come to find me. 

"How did it go?" he questions softly and when I go to open my mouth in response only a soft whimper comes out, now finally feeling my heart start to crack while tears stream down my face. "Come here" he says wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in as close as he can while I start sobbing into his chest, not being able to hold it in anymore. "It's okay baby, it's okay" he says softly coaxing the tears out of me. "We'll figure it out just like you said" he whispers and I nod showing him that I haven't lost hope. I guess at the end of the day, I'm not as strong as I thought I was. 

"How long are you going to be gone?" I question him as he finishes packing up a suitcase for his business trip. "Only a few weeks" he says as if it's nothing. "Weeks? What about the doctor? What about me? What about-" I ramble but am cut off by his lips on mine. "It's already all taken care of" he whispers against my lips and rubs his nose against mine before pulling back to continuing packing. 

"You talked to the doctor already?" I question and he nods his head. "Yep he says things are looking good and he's hopeful that we'll be able to conceive soon. We could even conceive now if you want to try" he says turning back around, drinking me in before pulling my body flush against his and giving a few light kisses on my neck already making me breathless from his touch on my sensitive skin. "How much longer until you're done?" I say trying to keep my mind straight. "Give me five minutes" he says and comes back up to give me a urgent kiss before running back and getting a few more things. 

"Text me when you land" I say walking up to the car while the driver places his bags in the trunk. "Of course" he says giving me one more kiss full of longing, making me not want to let him go. He pulls back a few moments later and nudges his nose against mine again before pulling away. "I love you" he says softly and rubs his thumb over the dark purple hickey he gave me on my neck, one to 'remember him by' as he had said proudly while I tried to scold him. 

"Don't take a test until I come back okay?" he says turning towards me one more time before getting in. "I won't" I laugh and shake my head at him while he gets in the car. "Bye" he says rolling down the window to give me one last goodbye before the driver pulls out of the driveway. I wave and watch as the car goes down the street until it turns the corner. "Be safe" I whisper under my breath and go back inside. 

After closing the door I head back into our bedroom and look down at my phone seeing a missed call from my father in law but he didn't bother leaving a message. He never calls me and since our last interaction wasn't the best I have no idea why he would even bother getting in touch with me now. 

"Y/n" he says simply when he picks up my call. "Yes?" I say waiting for him to get on with what was so important that it required a personal call from him. "Has my son left for the airport yet?" he questions and I'm curious as to why he would be asking me that instead of him. "Uh yeah he just left a few minutes ago" I say deciding to forward the information anyways. "Great, I need to speak to you about something, in person" he says which confuses me even more. "Why can't you just tell me now?" I question. 

"This is a personal matter and I would prefer it if we could just talk about it privately and have a civil conversation" he says and now that I take note of the background noise I can tell that he's probably in the car. "Okay that's fine" I concede without much of a fight and he tells he'll be there soon and hangs up without another word. I would prefer to avoid all conflicts with him since he's already not too fond of me to begin with but I might as well not give him another reason to be upset with me. 

"Hello" I say opening the front door for him and he walks in like I am simply 'the help' letting him into his own home and makes his way over to my husband's office. 'Sure make yourself at home' I think to myself and roll my eyes at him while closing the front door. "And to what do I owe the pleasure?" I question walking in with my arms crossed in front of my chest and leaning against the doorframe. "Y/n please sit down. I promise, I mean no harm" he says in the softest tone I've ever heard come out of his mouth which leaves me furrowing my brown and doing as he says, being caught off guard by his demeanor. 

"I wanted to discuss something with you" he says sitting on my husbands chair behind his desk. "So you said" I say lifting a brow at him. He's not usually one to mince words or beat around the bush, an example being the last interaction we had in person. "Why is it that you can't conceive?" he ask, coming back to his normal self somewhat but keeping that softer tone still. "I don't think I'm obligated to tell you that" I say simply, keeping my walls up despite his sudden change of character. 

"I just wanted to know if this is a situation that I can somehow...remedy" he says putting a strange emphasis on the end. "Meaning?" I question, not fully understanding what he could possibly mean by that. Or more like, I hope his thought process isn't just as twisted as mine is. "Well if the burden is on my family, mainly on my son then wouldn't it make sense that we would be the ones to help solve this problem?" he says standing up and walking around the desk to lean on it in front of me, still at somewhat of an appropriate distance. 

"Right" I say waiting for him to get to the point. "And seeing as I'm the one who is desperately awaiting an heir, shouldn't I be the one who is putting in the most effort find a solution?" he says never breaking eye contact. "Mr. Jeon what are you trying to say?" I say sitting upright in the chair, my body language showing clear discomfort. "Don't call me that" he says lowering his voice an octave catching me off guard and almost sending a current running up my spine. 

"What should I call you?" I say crossing one leg over the other, shifting around, suddenly feeling warm under his gaze. "By my name, or would you prefer something else?" he says with an eyebrow raised. "I would prefer to call you Mr. Jeon" I say in defiance, continuing to keep my walls up. "I guess that's fine, as long as you remember that it's me you're referring to" he says bending at the waist to meet me at eye level. 

"Referring to while what?" I ask feeling my heart rate pick up with this new proximity. "While I do what my son should've been able to do in the first place"  he says looking down at my lips for a moment before straightening back up, providing me room to breathe again. "Mr. Jeon I think you should leave" I say after clearing my through and getting up to walk out of the room but before I'm able to get far he holds me back by my wrist, pulling me towards him. 

"There's no need to run sweetheart, we're just talking" he says and brushes my hair out of my face that had been moved out of place by his sudden movements. "I'm not running" I say through clenched teeth trying to stand firm though I feel my defenses crumble with every honey coated word that drips from his lips, leaving me conflicted. "Good, then why don't you sit back down for me." he says and gently guides me back by my waist to do as he suggested. 

"Let's just say this, I have a proposition for you" he says leaning back on the desk again. "There's nothing to propose, your son is my husband" I say trying to show him how crazy this all is. "I am aware" he says plainly waiting for my further reasons to decline his offer. "Shouldn't that be reason enough?" I question, not understanding how he doesn't see how sick and twisted this arrangement is that he is proposing. 

"You duty to your husband is to always want the best for him correct? To do anything to make him happy? Don't you think that he would be happy coming home from his long trip away to find you pregnant with his child?" he says circling around the chair I'm in, dragging his finger along the back of it and stopping to rest his hand on my shoulder. "But it wouldn't be his child" I say looking up at him which was a huge mistake as his gaze has got me feeling breathless from the intensity. Pupils dilated and eyes forever trained on my entire existence, tracing every curve with his eyes, desperate to see what is hidden underneath everything I'm wearing. 

"He doesn't have to know that. He would share his DNA, and that's good enough for me" he says brushing it off. "Well then why don't you and your wife have another child?" I question, "Then he can take over when my husband retires. They would be the same age anyway if I were to have a child now" I say quickly offering a solution. "Haven't you always wanted to be a mother? Have a child to call your own?" he questions now holding my jaw in place, maintaining eye contact. 

"Yes" I say now nervous from the intimate contact. "And my son has always wanted to be a father no? He knows it would take a lot of pressure off everyone once you do have a child right? I would pull back and we would have our heir. Don't you want that?" he questions. "Not like this" I whisper barely holding on, the last of my defenses finally diminished. "Do it for him. No one has to know I promise." he says, rubbing his thumb against my bottom lip. 

"But I love him" I say, my eyes welling up with tears, knowing that I don't have the fight in me to stop this anymore. "And you're doing this because you love him" he says closing our proximity and bringing his lips close enough to touch but holds back for a second. "It's your call" he says and waits for me to take the next move 'I'm so sorry' I think to myself, begging for my husband's forgiveness and close my eye while also closing the distance between us. 

Part two Do it for Us | Jeon Jungkook

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[janearts]

Roisia Lydgate: Character Overview

This is really more of a background introduction to her character, but I'm trying to put as much information in one place for future reference or for anyone who wants to get a better idea of her character. Details underneath the cut!

Meta-Knowledge

Roisia is my Source Hunter from Divinity: Original Sin, but I recreated her in Baldur’s Gate 3 as a way to continue her story albeit in a completely different universe. The story and events of DOS have since become part of her backstory, and tweaked to fit the world of Faerûn.

Name Pronunciation

I’m honestly none too fussed about pronunciation. Her name is an 11th century mediaeval name that would later become “Rose” in Middle English. Roisia is probably meant to be pronounced something like /ɹɔɪːsiːɑ/ (Roy-see-ah) based on other name variants found around the same time. Her nicknames, as given to her by her parents, include: Rose, Rosie, petal, pet, rosebud, bud, so on and so forth.

Personality

Roisia is charming, adventurous, with a voracious curiosity, and a deeply analytical mind. She believes that taking care of the dead and providing a voice for the dead is her life’s calling. She was formerly raised to be a Cleric of Kelemvor, but believes that her god has disowned her since she reanimated her father. She now believes herself to be deemed among the Faithless. She’s compassionate to those in need and is willing to break rules (and the law) to help others. While she is generally a law-abiding citizen, she is dogged in pursuing the whims of her curiosity and will likewise do whatever it takes to solve a puzzle, a mystery, or a murder… or simply answer a question that has occurred to her. She is sociable, prefers when everyone gets along, and will try to talk her way into and out of most situations. This includes charming, reasoning, intimidating, and/or deceiving others to get her desired outcome. Ultimately, she finds solace and comfort in the company of animals, the dead, and books. Her favourite animal is the noble spider, and she breeds and raises some species in her spare time.

Spells and Such

I tried as best I could to replicate Roisia’s DOS character. In DOS, she was classed as a Witch. Witchcraft spells in DOS are a mixture of Necromancy spells and Enchantment spells, and I chose my spells in BG3 to imitate the ones that you get in DOS. As a witch in DOS, Roisia also had the ability to talk to animals and summon a spider. (I cheesed this in BG3 with the Find Familiar spell—technically a Conjuration spell—and having her drink a potion after every long rest.) To be more in keeping with her backstory, I gave her a Guild Artisan background and invested skill points in skills like Medicine.

Backstory

Roisia grew up in Eastway of Baldur’s Gate. Her father worked in the Gray Harbor shipyard as a shipwright and her mother was a Mortarch, running the Eastway Cemetery & Lydgate Funeral Service. She was raised to follow in her mother’s footsteps as a Cleric of Kelemvor, and specifically as a Mortarch, from an early age. She assisted her mother in managing the burial customs and rites for the Lower City’s diverse community (from embalming to ritualistic cannibalism to poisonings), comforting grieving family members of the deceased, and tending to the dead buried in the cemetery.

Her life took an unexpected turn when her father drowned during a sea trial. Grieving for her father, Roisia made her first attempt at Necromancy. She unwittingly used a wish spell in the process and reanimated him as a skeleton. Because it was the wish spell, not her first attempt at a necromantic ritual, that bound the soul of her father to his bones, Roisia is determined to master the School of Necromancy and truly resurrect her father.

She is interrupted in her early studies by the appearance of Eustace, who recruited her into the Source Hunters, an organisation dedicated to eradicating dangerous magic users (like… Necromancers). “We need you,” he said. “… and you need us.” Roisia & Eustace (or Roy & Stacey as they became known to each other) investigated the mysterious murder of a town counsellor and uncovered a Necromantic cult in the process. As they adventured together, Roisia began to develop feelings for Eustace, but as their adventure concluded and they returned to the Source Hunter Academy, Eustace did not return those feelings. Dejected, Roisia left the Source Hunters and returned to her home in Baldur’s Gate.

To “cure” herself of her heartbreak, Roisia drew up a list of lifelong goals for herself. They are:

1. A cemetery or plot of land of her own to oversee. 2. “Tenants”/”Residents” (aka The Deceased) to house and tend to on this land. 3. To master Necromancy such that she can extend indefinitely her own life and the lives of her loved ones. 4. One (1) Spouse (*not of the squeamish variety) 5. Children (*ideally 3-5)

Refocused aggressively on her list, Roisia returned to her duties during the day and her studies during the night. She was abducted by the nautiloid one night while she was off to dig up a new test subject.

Playlist

[hail-dondus]

Hi everyone! As I mentioned before, I found this special feature on the Gladiator blu-ray and thought it was really cool so I decided to write it up and share some of the photos here for fun.

A couple of things: first, I've had to split it into two parts because it's long! Part 2 is linked at the bottom of this post so you can continue reading. Secondly, I've tried to write exactly what Spencer wrote in the journal at the time, as it appears on the DVD; given he was only 11 years old when this journal was written, obviously he was only a child and I feel that's pretty obvious when reading. Any grammatical errors, spelling errors etc are his because I didn't want to change the content. The placement and order of the pictures are exactly as they appear on the DVD - if a picture is featured halfway through one day's entry, it's because that's where it was on the DVD when flicking through the pages.

All that in mind, I hope people enjoy reading and seeing what he wrote about making Gladiator, including about his co-stars!

My Gladiator Journal by Spencer Treat Clark (Part 1)

INTRODUCTION My Mom and Dad believe education is really important - and not only in the classroom. Whenever my sister, Eliza, or I travel they insist we keep a journal. Actually, we both keep journals pretty regularly, but on a working set they insist it be more extensive so we won't forget anything about these new experiences.

A year later- and probably for years to come, I'm glad I wrote everything down because it keeps the experience alive for me. With such an incredible and fun cast and crew, and director Ridley and producer Branko (who amazed me because they always seemed so relaxed), the enormous sets, incredible costumes and armory, Sandra and my tutor, Marjorie, and friendly Maltese people, working on Gladiator was just about the coolest experience a kid could ever have! ... I dedicate this journal to my uncle, John, who passed away during the filming of Gladiator.

He would have loved this movie!

-- Spencer Treat Clark

-----------------

March 19, 1999 Friday

Right now I'm writing on my laptop in a lounge at Heathrow airport, London. Yesterday around 4:30pm a Russian driver who played disco music drove my mom and me to JFK for an overnight flight. Mom and I laughed in the back seat as he told us how great disco music is. We didn't have the heart to ask him to change the tape. Anyway, we were early for our flight so we went to the Virgin Atlantic lounge, which is the Japan Airlines lounge until they finish renovating the Virgin lounge. It was full of business men working on their laptops so I, being an intelligent businessman myself, took my laptop out and pretended to file reports and look important but actually played solitaire. Then in came a beautiful girl with long dark hair around my age, with a full entourage. She was going to London, too and sat in the row to the left of me. She is a (opera?) singer, who was performing in Vegas and doing TV interviews. Her name was Charlotte something or other. All the British flight attendants knew who she was. All I knew was that she was pretty, and like the girls (and unfortunately the boys, too) my age, she's taller than I am, and no, I didn't have the nerve to talk to her although we were the only two kids on the flight.

I slept on the flight to Malta and when we arrived I could instantly tell that this was nothing like New York. The buildings were very old and what really bothered me was that they drove on the left side of the road. I kept thinking they were going to crash. The wind was blowing extremely hard. Nowhere was there a neon light. The coast was all cliffs which was very impressive. We could see the Roman Colosseum that they built for the film (Our driver told us they have been working on it since last September.)

The driver drove us to the hotel, which was way too fancy. We ate dinner at one of the four restaurants downstairs after unpacking.

--

March 20, 1999 Saturday

Breakfast was a quick yogurt and croissants. We ate in the only restaurant open, which happened to be coat and tie, but only from 4:00pm and 12:00. My mom pulled up some history on the hotel from a brochure. We read that it was made in 1939 and was used by soldiers in WW2. The west wing was bombed and had to be rebuilt. It officially opened in 1947. It is at the gateway to Valletta, the capital of Malta.

From our window you can see the harbor and lots of cranes- Malta's biggest industry is shipbuilding. The hotel is very imposing and one of the classic architectural sites in Malta. There are 7 1/2 acres of terraced gardens and the view from the pool is incredible. The Phoenicia boasts that it is the place where visiting Royalty and Ambassadors from other countries stay when in Malta.

Just for old times sake you can tell the US influence on Malta: our personal driver, Martin wears a Yankee hat (although the brim is pathetically flat) and our housekeeper's life long dream is to go to New York! After breakfast Martin drove us to the set. We ride around in a green jaguar and Martin always opens the door not just for mom but for me, too. It's very formal. I usually try to skip out mom's side but as soon as he opens her door he practically leaps over the car to open mine!

Before we got to the wardrobe office, Martin drove us by another set near Gladiator where they are shooting a submarine movie. Then we drove through the Gladiator set. It is enormous! Everything is built to scale and we spoke to the special effects guy who told us he'll work until October- creating a few more stories using computer graphics.

Next, I went to wardrobe and was fitted into several tunics. They tried on lots of different belts with gold trims. There is a guy who dyes the leather costumes and then ages them.

Janty, the wardrobe designer showed us the costume worn by Richard Harris, who plays my grandfather, Marcus Aurelius. It's leather with lots of gold trim.

Then we met Branko, one of the producers. He told me not to get my hair cut until Ridley, the director saw it because they think they want to keep it long. Branko was really nice and said he'd take us over to the set to see Ridley. We left our coats at the hotel since it was warm when we left but it got colder and Branko asked one of the guys working at the production office to get us some coats from wardrobe. Then Branko took Mom and me over to the Colosseum.

Then Ridley drove up and got out of his car. I also met Connie Nielsen, who plays my mother. I told her that one of my best friends was Mason Gamble and she was amused (Mason played her son in Rushmore.) Ridley is really nice, too.

After meeting with the director and producer we scoped out the set. They had made a whole town practically. It was complete with a replica of the Colosseum, a palace and a Gladiator training camp. The whole set was over an area of 1/2 of a square mile. There were people working everywhere. One man was painting graffiti on a wall. He explained that part of the set was an old fort and he needed to first put a clear layer of latex over the wall so it can be removed after the shoot. We touched a wall and still couldn't tell it was fake. There is a scene where the people are waiting to come into the arena and people are writing graffiti. He was working from a notebook of historical sketches. He also pointed out places for us to look - like Proximo's (the gladiator trainer) room. The artists have been busy painting frescos and then "aging" them. It's incredibly detailed.

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March 21, 1999 Sunday

It was a bright and sunny day and after a breakfast of omelets the concierge suggested we go to the flea market a few blocks away. So we did. It was just like a US flea market except it was wall to wall people. It took you thirty seconds to push your way through the crowd a mere 2 feet, so we exited stage left.

Fort Saint Elmo is in the shape of a massive four-sided star with a courtyard in the middle. There we watched a reenactment of the training of the Order of the Knights of Saint John. These Christian knights who numbered 130 and their Maltese comrades fought until their death against losses of 8000 Turks in 1552.

After we made our way back to the hotel, I decided to take a dip in the pool. I needed to put on lots of sunscreen as I was starting to get freckles and Branko had warned me to be very careful that my skin color was the same throughout the shoot. The pool is about 1/4 mile from the hotel and you have to walk through the hotels beautiful gardens to get there. It was quite "refreshing" - that's the exact word on the brochure...in other words it's not heated.

Back at the hotel mom and I read a history book on Malta, watched some sports on TV and had room service dinner. With the time change the Oscars didn't come on 'til the middle of the night. I met Ed Norton last week in New York and although I haven't seen any of his films, he was very nice and I hope he and Steven Spielberg win. I haven't seen Saving Private Ryan yet but Branko told me that Steven is his good friend and they also produced Schindler's List together. (I read an article earlier that was hanging on the bulletin board at the production office that said that Branko was an Auschwitz survivor. That must have been really hard to do that film and remember all those horrible things.)

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March 22, 1999 Monday

After breakfast we met Djimon (pronounced ji-mon as in rhyming with Simon) who plays Juba the Gladiator. (He was also the lead in Amistad). We spoke about the Internet and Malta and how my mom would not let me wear a baseball cap in the dining room (although Djimon was wearing one!) Djimon is extremely nice and very funny. He lives in LA and I told him I liked his New York sweatshirt and he told me not to get any ideas- especially since he spent 70 pounds of per diem to buy it in London!

When we arrived on the set, Emma one of the A.D.s who also worked on Goldeneye was there to greet us and brought us to our trailer. We have one for schoolwork and another for Mom to hang out in. It's nice and has a couch and desk. Emma brought me a huge bottle of coke, which is pretty cool since mom doesn't let me have a lot of soda at home. At lunch I saw Joaquin Phoenix, who was in costume, and went past him and said under my breath (well, actually more of a stage whisper), "NICE DRESS!" He immediately followed me and said, "I wouldn't talk, bud...I've got a pretty nice dress for you, too!" It was pretty funny.

----

March 24, 1999 Wedneday

This morning we got up at 7:00 AM, got down to breakfast at 7:30 and by 8AM we caught a bus to Sliema. The buses are very old, noisy and smell of diesel. They don't have doors. I guess they don't have a lot of lawyers in Malta! (My joke of the day)

At the pool we met another actor named Sven Ole-Thorsen (from Denmark) who plays Tiger in Gladiator. He was pretty tired because he just arrived from L.A. He was really nice and we talked for a long time. He's been in tons of movies like Lethal Weapon, Hunt for Red October, and Terminator. He's a good friend of Arnold Schwarznegger and is in most of his films. (He's a bodybuilder/actor and huge like Arnold.)

----

March 25, 1999 Thursday

Martin drove us over to the set. We wandered around for a while. It is so big and grand! The palace is incredible- gigantic marble columns and a pool with flowers and gold banners hanging from the walls. Then we walked into the Colosseum. We heard the tigers arrived in Malta today and we tried to figure out how they would be used in the scenes.

We saw where the film crew was and walked over. Ridley, the director took me by the shoulder and showed me around the room they were filming. Joaquin came over to shake my hand. Then everyone took his or her places. They started to do the scene where Joaquin looks at a statue of his father and hacks away at it because he never measured up to the kind of father he had (and he's very spoiled and frustrated).

About four seconds into filming they cut because someone noticed the microphone boom on the monitor. I stood behind Branko Lustig, the producer, and watched the monitor but could also see Joaquin. He did his scene in one take - good thing because it was very very intense. He is an amazing actor! It would take at least two hours to get the next scene ready.

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March 29, 1999 Monday

We got up at 6:00 AM but I was up and going pretty quickly compared to the usual time it takes me. It was a nice day and it was a good thing because it was my first day on the set when I was actually working.

When I got there I put on my tunic which was brown with a wide leather belt with round gold metal ornaments. The one I was fitted for last week was a delicate baby blue silk but the new one was brown cotton with gold trim.

After that I was called to hair and make up where I kidded around with Connie and Joaquin. Joaquin is really funny. Graham, who is the head hairdresser and from Scotland said, "He's quite cheeky, isn't he?"

I went back to my trailer and read my book, River Thunder. It's a really good book and even though I say books aren't my things I was pretty entranced by this book. I was called to set where I continued to read until the lighting and so on was perfect and they were ready to film.

Around the room in the palace were about 100 Praetorian guards with full armor on and about 50 "Senators". It was pretty cool. I didn't do much but walk around the rim of the room as my mother and uncle, the Roman emperor return from war. Afterwards, I sat in the warm sun on the palace steps and I finished River Thunder.

While we're sitting on the steps, Mike Higgins, the location manager came up and gave us the ferry and helicopter schedules to go to Gonzo. He also gave us some brochures and the names of hotels to stay. He gave us two books: The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire which is over 1000 pages and Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius. I won't be able to make it through the first one - it's way too big but Chapter 3 looks pretty interesting because it's all about the characters in the movie. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor is my grandfather in the film and my character is the heir to the throne. His book is easier to read because he's a Stoic philosopher and the book has about 500 thoughts that he wrote in his free time - like a journal - but a journal of thoughts.

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April 4, 1999 Sunday

We got up early and went to the production office to copy the newspaper and send e-mail home. While waiting for our driver, Martin came to pick up Sven but Sven wouldn't get in the car. Sven said Martin was driving him crazy because Martin's baseball cap had no curve. Sven took it off Martin's head and curved it for him. Then Sven happily jumped in Martin's car. We just watched and laughed at this exchange. Reno came to pick us up and we needed to take a detour because of a parade. We passed some huge walls and Reno pointed out little filled in stone doors that in WW2 were opened to allow people in to hide. He pointed out the one his mother hid in.

We decided to check out who was rehearsing at the Colosseum. A few people were shooting but no one was rehearsing. I checked out the storage room for all the weapons. There were awesome axes, shields, spears, daggers, nets, bows, arrows and swords.

Then we took a walk through the set and the fort. Part of the fort not used in the set had stone steps and big bunches of flowers were growing out of the cracks in the steps. Then we walked toward another part of the fort and saw someone's arm in the window. As we got closer we saw that the arm didn't have a body! We came across the place where they keep the dummies. They were pretty whacked up and anatomically correct. (Take that GI Joe...today's joke!)

Then we decided to head over to the wardrobe to see if the stuntmen at the race track where they've been practicing the chariot races. As I walked toward the wardrobe I noticed Sven practicing with another gladiator with some instruction from the swordmasters, Nick Powell and Andreas Petrides, whoknow all the martial arts and they choreograph movie fights. It was really cool. Nick taught me a whole fight that we got up to full speed. This was really, really fun.

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April 6, 1999 Tuesday

Today we went to a very early breakfast with mom and Marjorie (my tutor). After breakfast, I did school/math until 1:00PM in the Palm Court, a huge room with coffee tables and big comfy chairs where civilized guests read the paper or have tea while slaves like me do school work.

Then went to lunch at the set and Marjorie told me stories about tigers. For six years she tutored kids with Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus.

While mom went over to the production office I gave Marjorie a tour of the set. I took her to the spot where they keep the cadavers and told her to close her eyes as we approached. She nearly screamed when she opened her eyes and saw the bloody, mutilated bodies.

We heard some cheering and went into the Colosseum. There were over 1000 extras in full costume in the stands. A guy was getting them to do crowd reactions as they filmed the crowd.

I found a way to get up on top of the building to watch. There is a stairway with very narrow steps placed right in the center and ramps on either side. That's so that in the days of the knights, they could get the cannons up on to the tops of the building. The steps are only about three inches high per step because it was hard to walk up steps in full armor. Anyway, today they were shooting with tigers. They used two while I was there. One had an American trainer who got the tiger to react by giving him scraps of meat. The French trainer intimidated the tiger by snapping his whip. He didn't hurt him but made him edgy. At times the the tigers didn't do what was needed and even looked bored. At one point a guy on horseback charged into the arena - out of sight of the camera but the tiger got up and paced the same way the horse did. The crowd got excited when anything happened but were quiet while they were setting up shots which can take an awful long time.

Someone had a football and one gladiator threw it to another on the field. The other guy caught it and the crowd went nuts. If someone dropped the football the audience hissed and booed. One time a gladiator missed it and fell backwards and his toga flew up over his head and the audience roared with laughter. This was all very funny. One guy missed it and I caught it and threw it...more cheers. I wished that at that moment I were 10 years older with gladiator arms to really join in the game.

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April 8, 1999 Thursday

We were in the stands of the Colosseum by 3 and were watching the Tiger fights. While walking past one of the Tiger cages one leaped up and started violently thrashing at the cage. There is a storyboard posted with all the shots mapped out. The drawings by a DreamWorks artist kind of looks like a comic book. It is pretty cool to see how they get each shot. Now that I know how they do the special effects and make the blood squirt out of a foot as it gets hit with a weapon I'm getting more excited about seeing the final film. It's going to be so cool.

The prop guys (AKA: The Boys) had made a wooden box that had chicken wire on one half and a divider through the middle of the box with a hole in it that was big enough for a small animal to fit through. On the side that you could see in was straw. The Boys had rigged a remote control trigger from a taken apart remote control car on the box that makes the top of the half with no chicken wire on it burst open with a fake ferret on it. They would tell people they had an animal in a cage (they called it a "Sea Bat") and that they'd show it to them. So when the person came to take a look someone around 20 ft away would trigger the box to open with a bang scaring the person out of their minds. My mom fell for it and screamed when the box flung open. Then she looked around to see that about 50 people were watching her and they were very amused at her reaction. She was pretty embarrassed and was happy when the "Vestal Virgins" fell for the trap when they were innocently led over to see the animal. The special effects guys entertained themselves all afternoon by leading their unsuspecting victims over to the cage. The crowd kept getting larger.

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April 11, 1999 Sunday

Today was a quiet one.

We had dinner at a café in Valletta...We sat next to Sven and Ralf Moeller, the Conan guy. Sven gave me a huge bear hug and they gave Mom and Marjorie a funny kind of flower made of little streamers. They said I could come up to the gym with them tomorrow and work out with them. They said they'd show me how to lift weights. Djimon went to visit his girlfriend in the US but will be coming back tomorrow. These guys are so much fun to talk to and kid around with. Sven fell for my sappy pen trick and said I don't know what I started. I told him I wanted to show him the "Sea Bat" at the Colosseum tomorrow. I hope the special effects guys have it out tomorrow.

----

April 12, 1999 Monday

Marjorie and Mom and I went to base camp to have lunch with Sven, Ralf and Djimon. Sven came up behind Mom and whispered, "Hey honey, how about a kiss?" When mom turned around he was only inches away from Mom's face and he was covered in blood and dirt and scars. Mom nearly passed out. Everyone thought it was hilarious. He had all this gross makeup on from the tiger fight that he was filming. Ralf decided not to work out today but to get a massage instead. I'm going to work out tomorrow.

When we got back to the hotel I saw Djimon and Sandra in the lobby and gave each a pepper candy. I think they are on to me because they said they'd eat it later.

----

April 13, 1999 Tuesday

What's a dead parrot's favourite shape?

I saw Djimon this morning and he at the pepper candy and gave me grief! Later on when I was doing schoolwork, Ralf and Djimon came over while they were waiting for the car to pick them up. Ralf told me he'd work with me on some of the machines after lunch. He's the Conan guy and a former Mr. Universe.

We went to the base camp around 7:30ish. We had lunch: Lamb, calamari, dumplings and mash potatoes. I only ate about half of each because I wanted to conserve my energy for working out.

I left early from lunch leaving behind my Mom and Marjorie. I caught a ride to the set and went to the exercising room. To get to the exercising room you have to walk up a long flight of stairs that is falling through on one side. The room has a great view of The Grand Harbor and the Colosseum. I met Ralf up there and he started showing me exercises I could do. The first was an arm exercise with a 2 1/4 pound weight. The other upper body exercise he showed me are too complicated to describe.

After about 20 minutes Ralf instructed me to stop and that the next time I should do it for longer and with heavier weights. he also told me to drink diluted apple juice instead of Coke.

The we wandered over to the armory. Simon Atherton, the supervisor Armourer invited us in for a look. We spent about an hour and a half there because he had so much to show and tell us. Simon first started as an apprentice making guns. He also worked making weapons on Braveheart and Saving Private Ryan. One of the new weapons designed was too cool. Simon, from pure imagination came up with a semi automatic Roman crossbow. It took him 4 days working ten hours each day to build this master weapon. He started off with sheets of metal. The finished product was incredible. It could have 4 arrows ready to fire one right after the other. On it were detailed lion heads. Simon showed us the books he read for his inspiration and the tools and molds he used to make the weapons. He had one sword that had an iron crab just above the handle and I hinted that "Lucius" (my character) would probably like that sword. (He hasn't made Lucius' sword yet).

Continuing on towards base camp we passed the department that makes the dead bodies and so on. There was a big garage like door open and in the middle of where these guys were working were two horses. I started questioning the guys about what they do and it wasn't until I was three feet away from the horses when I realised they were fake. The body is made of fiberglass - strong enough for a man to ride and the outside is a fake fur that looks and feels so real. They were for a scene that was too dangerous to risk a real horse and they explained how they were going to do the whole stunt. It's going to be so cool.

They started showing me how they did everything. The dummies even had eyelashes. They told me that they had to individually punch in hairs to fake legs. A whole leg sometimes took 10 hours to punch the hairs in. One of the guys worked on a gorilla movie and had to work with three other men to punch in each hair to the model of the gorilla. It took something like three months 10 hours a day to punch in all the hairs.

There is a female gladiator in one scene and the mold for this gladiator was actually molded from a real lady who had to be something like 7ft something! Even more amazingly the lady when on her knees has to be chopped in half in the movie. That's where the mannequin takes place because the lady is on her knees and there is a tube that leads from the kneecap to the waist. At the waist the body is cut in half so the tube is open on both sides. There is another tube in the other leg too. In the ground where they are filming the core (the Colosseum) there are pistons that are attached to the tube in the dummy. The tubes are filled with blood and then the top half of the body is rested on the bottom half of the dummy. The pistons are released and it shoots the blood from the tubes and sends the top half of the body flying. One guy was standing 15ft from the dummy when they tested it and fake blood soaked him.

One guy said he worked on Saving Private Ryan and made several body casts of himself. It must be pretty weird to see yourself "dead" on the beach and then in a field. I'm sure he made the dummies look different and that only he could recognize himself but it's still strange.

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April 21, 1999 Wednesday

We went to lunch at Eddies were we ate outside. Actually I was too darn impatient and went and got McDonalds and then joined mom and Marjorie. Joaquin went to the same restaurant and when he saw us he came over and chatted for a while. We talked about him being a vegetarian since he was three and his mom would cook lots of gross stuff but now there were so many choices. He doesn't even eat eggs or drink milk. Of course I pointed out, after eating a wonderfully nutritious McChicken sandwich that he smokes so he's not all that healthy! (Which he readily admitted.) Joaquin is really nice and very funny. I like to kid him.

--

April 25, 1999 Sunday

Mom, Marjorie and I joined Ralf and Djimon for breakfast. It was pretty hilarious. Ralf and I armed wrestled at the table. Watch out, Matt O! I'm practicing on a really big guy! Then Djimon asked how many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer below.

This afternoon was fun. Mom, Marjorie and I took a bus to the athletic fields to see a "Football" game (soccer that is). It was different groups of guys from Gladiator - like the special effects, "SIX" versus the "rebels", the cast of Gladiator and the A.D.'s (Assistant Directors). These guys were all pretty good and there were a big group of "Athletic supporters", as we were called. I got a soccer shirt (number 13 which is y order on the call sheet) and I am planning on giving it to Eli. It's nice cuz it's long sleeved and she plays goalie.

One guy sprained his ankle. Russell Crowe invited everyone (about 200 of us) to the Tex-Mex restaurant for dinner tonight. I finally met Russell. He's really relaxed and funny. I can't wait to do scenes with him.

Answer: Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to tell him he's looking good!

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April 26, 1999 Monday

I got up too early for anyone's liking. I think it was 6:00AM or something. We were picked up and brought to the set.

Today was the first day of shooting the chariot scenes. There were thousands of extras. It will probably take a few weeks to do this scene. There was a lot of energy because it was the only day that the whole cast (minus Sven, who has done all his tiger scenes) is on set at the same time. Russell came over to my trailer and joked around. He laughed that I had a soccer jersey but the one I had was from a losing team (the team he beat). As he said this he made a "L" with his hand over his forehead. He's hilarious.

We got to set and I was escorted to the imperial box where Joaquin and Connie were already sitting. They look so good in costume. We did a lot of sitting there on our thrones for quite a while before they started filming. At first they just had the gladiators in a circle waiting for the chariots to come out and battle. Before long they had 25 gladiators in the middle with six chariots circling them. Each chariot had a driver and archer. (The archers were those female Olympic athletes who do American Gladiators. Their armor is how should I say this...um...it won't go unnoticed - at least among the male population). The gladiators were throwing spears at them and the archers flinging arrows at them. They had to shoot the scenes from a million different angles and there were about half a dozen cameras that were filming at the same time. One time they had the rigged the camera on an ATV and it raced in front of the chariot. It was pretty cool. Between takes they had to "Zamboni" the arena floor. They couldn't have the sand ruts of the chariots from the take before so a mini ATV zoomed around the arena dragging a chain grid to smooth out the surface. Just outside the Colosseum there were two water tanks filled to sprinkle on the sand if it got too dusty and to keep on hand if there was a fire. Oh, and they used this stinky kind of smoky incense that smelled like the inside of a church. When the camera wasn't on the Imperial box I talked with Joaquin, Connie and Tomas.

During one of the breaks to change camera angles Nick came and talked to me. Before long we were sword fighting on the floor of the Colosseum. It was great. My speed is really picking up. I sometimes screw up the beginning, which is better than the end because as I speed up if I make a mistake I could hit him. It was really fun.

After lunch we had to make way for an ambulance that came for a guy who fell off some scaffolding and broke his pelvis. Yesterday the guy that I thought sprained his ankle actually fractured it. Someone told me that during the filming of Ben Hur there were two deaths.

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April 27, 1999 Tuesday

This morning I got up at eight, and we went to breakfast. We didn't have much time to eat, because a driver, Reno, arrived early to take us to the set. Upon arrival, I got dressed and got my manly make-up on, and then I was ready to shoot.

I sat up in the royal box, and watched the chariots fly around the arena for the second time. I had to be my own stand-in, because they couldn't find a person that looked enough like me. A stand-in is a person who looks like you and stands in your place when they aren't taping but setting up the lighting.

They started a scene where one chariot crashes to the ground and the sand gets stirred up, while people fight in the background. They used air pistons to shoot the sand up in the air. There was a guy underneath the fake horses to wiggle them around, and make them look as if they were dying slowly. It was a really cool scene.

After a little while of waiting around, we got restless and went down to see the newborn baby tigers that were nine days old. They were no bigger than a hand but had the strength of a ticking time bomb. It's hard to explain, but it always felt as if they were going to jump right out of your hand. They were identical to a full-grown tiger, yet they were eight inches long.

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April 28, 1999 Wednesday

When I got to the set, I got into my costume, got on my manly make-up and someone do my hair. I was rushed to the set and was barely told what to do when the scene began.

On "action" Joaquin pulled me up, brought me to the edge of the imperial box and we watched the battle below us. They had a chariot crushed against the side of the Colosseum wall and Djimon has to fight off the chariot archer. It was a fun scene to watch, but we didn't have much to do in the box.

In another short Russell Crowe, the star of the movie, cuts free a horse from the crashed chariot and grabs a spear that was sticking out of a dead body. He told me about how the horse was a bit jumpy and that's why he missed grabbing the spear a few times. I said, "sure blame it on the horse". His comeback was, "well if I was a horse and I had eight fat men running at me I'd be a bit jumpy too". That's literally what happens. After that scene they filmed the one where Russell has to jump over the chariot onto the horse. He did it himself because he's really good at horseback riding.

They then officially wrapped us and we went down and saw the tiger cubs. Connie came too and so did my dad this time. They really do look like miniature tigers.

--

April 30, 1999 Friday

I had to work today because it rained and they did an indoor shot.

Lunch was really good. Sausage, bacon, lamb, mash potatoes topped with gravy with another plate of French fries. I went back to the set (as in the place where they shoot not base camp) soon after lunch and visited the puppies for 1/4 of an hour until they needed me for my scene. When you film a scene between two people you film the whole scene just focusing on one person and then they set it up again focusing on the other person. Then they throw in any others shots needed at the end.

It usually takes quite a while. First they shot my dialogue and because the shot was only on me at the time, Ralf and Russell were making silly faces as we did the lines. Oh Yeah, the scene I was doing was me looking in the gladiator holding cells looking at Djimon, Ralf, Russell and other gladiators. My character meets Maximus (Russell) for the first time in the movie. They filmed Russell after me and did the same scene but angled towards the former. The next angle was of me pushing through the crowd but with my bodyguards. It was really neat because everyone parted a path for me to walk on.

We finished at like 7:30 and at the hotel it was too late to swim. We had dinner and now I'm typing and listening to Russell's band (called 30 Odd Feet of Grunt) on a CD that he gave me and it's really good. One other thing that I forgot. Russell owns 50 cows, 4 horses, 8 turtles, 2 six-foot snakes, too many birds to count, and a platypus on his ranch in Australia. He said I could come visit - if I didn't mind the snakes.

———

((PART 2))

[dallasgallant]

Time period post : Buses and public transport

This one extends a bit off of my post on car culture, as I’ll cover motorlodges but also public transportation! As usual this is sort of an introduction or crash course to the topic, I do encourage you to go looking if you want to learn more!

Public transport-

In the 60’s flying was still fairly expensive and formal, it was a really nice trip or more for business men or other upper middle or outright rich people. There was a matter of price but popularity and access also played a part, most people would likely prefer to drive or take a bus or maybe even a train!

Trains were still a huge part of transportation up until following WW2, after all there were huge efforts like the transcontinental railway in the 1860s to connect the country. They were still fairly popular long form travel up through the 40s and 50s (old movies can be evidenced to that) but as car culture began to rise and interstate highway were built - people shifted their focus to individual passenger vehicles and the freedom of control. The rail system was much more in tact than the remains today but was on the decline.

Busses on the other hand? Huge, especially in small towns (some may even still have trolly systems!) they’d be kept neat and relatively on time — it was also a way to travel! Some who either couldn’t afford or didn’t want to drive a long distance themselves could take a longer bus ride/charter busses and travel the country! Greyhound absolutely ruled the roost in this regard and is still sort of synonymous!

Similar to trains there were bus terminals alongside regular street side stops, it’d be returned to on its regular run or a place to hop onto the next one going a city or so over. Some big and nice stations had little tv chairs that I am obsessed with:

Ash trays and shoe shine stands, news stands and vending machines (hot drinks, candy, cigarettes.) and brochure stands are some other notable features. Yes people used to actually man shoe shine stations… I feel in modern day they’re the stand equivalent to a mall that’s somehow still standing.

Most buses you’d pay a few cents or dollars (depending, likely cents) wherever you’re picked up. But if you’re going a considerable distance. Like Tulsa to Detroit you’d buy a ticket and then show that, you wouldn’t just hop on.

This isn’t to say there aren’t still busses in America, but our towns are larger, cars are the main focus and busses have become a bit dirty and less reliable. Isn’t to say they aren’t still a thing, similar to trains.

“Milk run” - this is an interesting bit of slang I’ve heard from my grandmother to refer to a bus going on its complete route stopping at every small town along the way.

She took a bus by herself from one town to another that were a few hours apart from eachother… about 15 in the 60s and got stranded at a bus station. (Needless her dad chewed out the attendant.)

That story highlights the detail of kids traveling on their own! It was safe* enough if they were aware and knew things well, this would be more contained to a town. Not small children either more 8+ and teens.

Motor lodges-

For a good portion of their existence, Hotels were dedicated to long term stays and located in cities, usually bachelors or businessmen etc. or sometimes renting a room at an older woman’s home.

Motor lodges became the place for the average vacationer. “Motels.” It was more common to see independently owned ones but chains did arise, like Howard Johnsons. An absolute staple of the 60s and roadside Americana… it cannot be understated just how huge these places were- sometimes their restaurants would stand alone! They were nice, fun and amenity filled place, honestly almost a toned down resort of sorts.

Most motels you’ll see beds, shower, perhaps a tv etc. they’d be clean and comfortable.

A nicer motel you’d be set! A color tv, refrigerated air (ac), a heated pool , a cafe next door.

Motor lodges rose alongside automobiles, existing all the way back in the 30s in a slightly different form. They began to kick off in gimmick and style in the real height of the Route 66 tourism era.

The view of Flying and hotels also began to change by the end of the decade, flying became cheaper and incentivized. Hotels began to spring up and offer more amenities and push out some motels, these happening simultaneously.

[awinterrosesstuff]

Tsunade is among my favorite characters. She's strong, smart, competent, empathic, and badass. She has an interesting background and compelling flaws. And most of it, she has such a good introduction. Usually, I'm very happy with the character's introductions in Naruto. Kishimoto really has a talent for it. But Tsunade especially gets a great one. I think it's fundamental. The reader always keeps the first impression in mind. You need to understand the character quickly, their traits and purpose in the story.

She already appeared a bit in flashbacks (Jiraiya & Hiruzen and maybe Orochimaru ?), but we still had to meet her. The next arc is kind of dedicated to it, to introduce her to the story. And it does very well in that regard. What's very interesting in this arc is that both Jiraiya and Orochimaru are searching for her because she's the only capable in their eyes. Jiraiya thinks she fits the role of hokage more than him and the elders agreed. And Orochimaru knows Tsunade is the only one who can heal him. Plus, we get from Gai that's she's the only one who can heal Lee, Kakashi and Sasuke. She has a strong reputation.

She's called in a two panels "medical specialist", "the third of the shinobi three", and "the queen of slugs and elixirs". Kishimoto is building the hype around her character. She's looked in high regards by Konoha and Orochimaru.

And it gets Naruto curious. As much as the reader. That's literally why he asks what she's like. He's about to meet her anyway, so can't blame him. Plus she would save Sasuke (& Kakashi) if they bring her back, that's very important to him.

To balance her previous reputation, Kishimoto comes with another one "the legendary loser". He builds expectations and also gives you one of her flaws. Something really incapacitating for her character. And honestly, I'm quite happy with it. We didn't even properly meet her and we get a background (Hashirama's grand daughter, Hiruzen's student, Orochimaru & Jiraiya teammate), what she's specializes in (medical ninjutsu) and some of her negative traits (she likes to bet and has bad luck). I really wanted to read more about her. She was already interesting to me.

When we're finally introduced to her, Kishimoto expands more on her background and tells us why she became a medical ninja and left the village. I think those elements are quite important to explain her character & personality. As a comparison, we didn't get Jiraiya background before the Pain's arc. I'm not saying it's good or bad, but it wouldn't have worked for a character like Tsunade who literally took Shizune under her wing. It wouldn't have made sense without the background you see. It's also easier to empathize with her.

Another point... immediately, we are shown what she's capable of. Her strength is quite impressive. I think it's the first time we see such a strength. Actually, Shizune who was also trained as medic has different techniques and fighting style. So they both have their own originality while being two medical kunoichis... In my opinion, it's a good point in their favor.

Also, Tsunade is a capable medic. She's the best at it. And it's presented right away. First, she understands the importance of Orochimaru's state and clearly knows what they want her for. Secondly, she's able to use her ninjutsu medical in her fighting style (second panel). Kabuto was immobilized by just one jutsu and Orochimaru is impressed by it. Then she proceeds to heal herself. And in the third panel, she saves Naruto who was on the verge of death. Something that Kabuto thought impossible. And still... she did it !

So her reputation as a medical specialist is well deserved.

Heee, looks how badass she is ! Anyway... after getting hit three times (if I counted well) she still stands and heals her wounds at the surprise of Orochimaru. She should have died right there, it's made perfectly clear by everyone. But she has an unique jutsu that regenerates her. It's her own words.

She cannot die while this jutsu is active. Again that's considerable, because nobody else has anything like that (except for Kabuto who didn't die from Naruto's rasengan). And it's a jutsu she created and a dangerous one at that. Then, she summons Katsuyu, finally explaining why she's called "the queen of slugs" by Jiraiya.

This panel is really something. I think it's the details... it's so good.

Also another point (the last I promise) is the only reason Tsunade was incapacited during the fight... is because of her trauma and her fear of blood. Kabuto has to cut himself to stop her from attacking. There's no other reason mentioned. And she was a retired ninja for years...

A fear and a trauma she was able to overcome as seen in the panels I posted before.

Tsunade's introduction is so good because she has everything you need for a believable character you'd want to follow. She has a detailed background, ambitions/dreams on her own, techniques unique to her, positive traits and some flaws. And a promising character development. The show don't tell is also well done.

Also she has something that works in her favor. Before Tsunade was introduced, we barely get anything about medical ninjutsu. So her speciality is new for the reader too.

[nexiva]

You made me hate you (Pt.1)

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary: A short introduction and some background on Y/N past. Everything seems to be just as it should… for now.

Warnings: Little violence in this part and nothing more. More to be added in later chapters.

Y/N - Your Name

Y/A - Your Age

Y/L/N - Your Last Name

A/N: This one is short so enjoy this while you can. Let me know what you think. 🤠

Masterlist

Chapter One

“You can’t keep up with me anymore, Nat!” I shouted from the corner of the boxing ring. “You’re getting old!” I laughed.

“Oh, shut it, Y/N,” Natasha snapped, swinging a massive punch toward my face. She missed. Luckily. Her right hook can be lethal sometimes.

I love days like this. Sweating it out in the gym, no missions looming over the horizon, just the occasional new recruit showing up. I’ve got to train them, of course, but it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to a while back.

“Looking good, Y/N!”

“Feeling good, Captain!” I waved at Steve as he walked out of the gym.

Yeah, life was good. For once, I had time for myself. Oh, right! I almost forgot to mention—I’m part of the Avengers now. Nick Fury had been training me since S.H.I.E.L.D infiltrated their whole operation. He took me in like I was his own. Also Natasha has been by my side for as long as I can remember. The only sister I have left.

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if Nick hadn’t shown up. If HE hadn’t killed her. If my parents were still alive. If I wasn’t so “special.” If I had known what was happening back then. But again I was only ten. How could I have known that the “orphanage” wasn’t really an orphanage at all? That it was actually a secret underground organization called N.E.X.U.S. (Neoteric Experimentation for Xenogenesis and Ultimate Supremacy)—Jesus, what a mouthful—dedicated to creating their own super soldiers.

I didn’t know that the injections they gave me weren’t for my health… how creative, right? They weren’t affiliated with HYDRA or any other group. They just wanted to take over the world… HOW CREATIVE, RIGHT?! And yet, no matter how funny and dull it may seem, it ruined my life completely.

But hey, let bygones be bygones. I’m a kind of super soldier now—not quite on Steve’s level, but I’m getting there. I need to train with him more often. My speed is far beyond that of an athletic adult male, and my physical strength is impressive, too. My cells regenerate faster than a normal person’s. I’m Y/A now, but they’ve told me I’ll stay like this for at least the next hundred years…

That’s what I meant - the whole ruining my life completely part. The thought of losing the people I’ve grown to love here, in Stark Tower now, haunts me every day. That’s why I hate them—all those secret organizations. HYDRA took away my only family, and N.E.X.U.S. stole my life.

So I made a vow: I’d destroy them. Every single one of them. Every person who played a part in ruining my life.

Little did I know, my plans were about to be thrown completely off course by a certain super soldier.